When I first began blogging in 2009, I followed bloggers of many types. People on weight loss journeys. Recipe blogs. Globe-trotting singles. Families living abroad. Military families. Adoptive parents. Mothers of children with special needs. Mothers of several children. To this day, I continue to read Della's humorous kid stories over at 18UNDERONEROOF on a near daily basis.
Basically, back then it was a matter of if I found it interesting and I had a few minutes to park myself in front of the computer, I read it. Several of the blogs I read were written by people leading lives that were the polar opposite of my own life. One of my favorite blogs was written by a very young twenty-something homosexual raw vegan. She lived with her partner, a woman, about whose job she was very secretive. I have a feeling her partner was in the military and she kept it hush because of the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy on homosexuals in the military. Whatever. I didn't care. I simply enjoyed seeing her photos of her daily outings and reading all about the concoctions she came up with in the kitchen to satisfy her raw vegan lifestyle.
One day I showed up on her blog to find that day's entry entitled The End. I knew immediately she meant she and her partner had parted ways. But what hit me like a brick was the fact that her title was a double entendre. The End wasn't just the end of her and her partner's relationship but it was also the end of her blogging days.
I was very disappointed. She had helped inspire me to eat healthier and now that source of inspiration was gone.
I thought about naming this blog entry here, the one you are reading right now, The End. But The End seems so depressing. So final. So.....The End.
To this point, I have not written here in over three months but still I'm not sure I am ready to commit to never writing here again. See, anymore life just gets so busy for me and my family that I feel like the only time I truly feel a passion to come here and write is when I have something to
I heard a term today I had never heard before: drainer
A drainer is someone who drains you of all energy. Someone who you can talk to until you are blue in the face and they just don't get what you are talking about. Or someone who all they do is complain.
As much as I wanted to come on here and tell the whole long story about how autism reared its ugly head right smack in the middle of the grocery store and darn near made me have my own mommy meltdown, I don't want to be that person - that person who only complains and sucks the energy straight out of people. I don't want to be a drainer.
I also have no desire to be that person who blogs daily about the most mundane things like, for instance, how my youngest is now saying boo-boo when he really means poo-poo.
Being the mom who is always upbeat and bragging about my perfect life and my perfect kids and my perfect marriage and abso-freakin-lutely perfect house is not my style either.
No one wants to listen to someone who only complains, much less read about it. No one cares about my baby's every action. And no one believes these perfect bloggers who portray their lives as perfect and 100% emotionally pain-free. Every single one of those things tend to suck the energy out of people.
So with that said, I am not going to come here to complain or to tell people about every little detail of my family's life or to act like life in a family affected by autism is perfect. For sure, it's not.
From today on, I may come here to report on some small victory we have had pertaining to my son or his autism. Or I may come here to tell about something really funny one of these three monkeys said. I may even post a photo now and then. Or I may just never post anything again. For now, I think I will call this a break in the story.
Who knows what this is. I don't want to complain. I want to be positive. I want people to laugh. Heck, I want to laugh but I don't want to be the person telling the funny kid story that no one laughs at. I want to inspire but I don't want to seem phony.
All I really know is that I do not want to be a drainer. I want to be better than that. I am better than that. So folks, here it is: When you come here in the future, prepare to read something thought-provoking or uplifting or funny. Or maybe even nothing at all.