1-2-3 Autism Free

More Than Anything...

2012-02-10T08:31:00.004-06:00

Autism continues to amaze me on a daily basis. Or rather, Reiss continues to amaze me with the unimaginable number of hurdles he has overcome on the road of autism. We have gone from Reiss saying "I-ya" (I love you!) in response to when I would tell him "I love you" when he was a baby, to him not having any meaningful speech, and then later on having only echolalic speech. With the addition of ABA therapy, Reiss then began having meaningful and conversational speech. That's not to say we do not still have our moments of wondering if there is a parrot in the house, but oh, how things have changed!

It is all of those wonderful changes that keep me getting out of bed every single day.

These are the words Reiss sang out as I was putting Rhett into his car seat this morning:

I love Rhett more than anything.
More than sand on the beach.
More than a fish in a cup.
More than me reading a book.
I love Rhett more than anything.

It won't burst my bubble or disappoint me if someone comes along and tells me these are words similar to those in a particular book he may have heard read to him at school. They are still the sweetest words I have heard in a good long time.

100 Days of Bliss

2012-01-25T21:27:00.006-06:00

Ha! I wish it really was nothing but true blissful peace around here for the last one-hundred days but anyone who has ever had a newborn infant knows I would be lying if I said these last three months have been filled with only sunshine and rainbows and baby kisses.

But with that said, this simply adorable little three-month-old face is my excuse for taking such a long bloggy sabbatical. Isn't he just perfect? I couldn't be more in love...

My apologies for the poor photo quality, as it is an iPhone pic.

I suppose if I still have anyone out there reading (which would be nothing short of a miracle, in my opinion, since I, personally, tend to drop other people's blogs from my own reading list if the writer has not posted in a month or two) they may be curious about the chubby face above.

Rhett Anders was born at 12:55 a.m. on October 17th, 2011. He was 7lbs, 15oz. - only a few ounces more than my first two children at their births but he has gained weight at a substantially faster rate than Reiss or Milla. At 100 days old, Rhett weighs in just shy of 17 lbs - where Reiss and Milla were when they were around nine or ten months old. Rhett is already in 6-9 month outfits. I just love his roly poly little fat self. And I mean "fat" in the most loving way. Reiss never had any rolls. He has never had so much as an extra ounce of fat on him. Milla had chunky little thighs for a short period of time as a baby but outgrew them quickly and continues to be skinny. But Rhett...oh, I could just eat his cheeks for lunch!

Rhett did not make a peaceful appearance into this world. That is for certain! I was scheduled for a c-section that Monday morning anyway but went to the hospital Sunday night in sheer agony. I had gone to the hospital two times in the previous week and been sent home in such pain from contractions that, at times, I thought I might pass out. Having never had contractions with either of my first two children (both scheduled c-sections), I did not know what one felt like until then. By late Sunday night (October 16th), I was not having contractions but just one long contraction. Even the anesthesiologist confirmed on their little monitor thing what I had been saying (or screaming, rather) all along. I don't know how they can see pain on a screen but since they were in agreement with what I was telling them, we'll go with it.

A lot has happened since Rhett's birth and thus (such a cliche word!), the reason for my blogging absence. My days are filled with playing mom taxi to the older two, nursing Rhett, changing Rhett, carrying Rhett (he is not yet very keen on being set in his bouncy seat or swing), some days crying right along with Rhett because he won't stop crying. Okay, not really but he has been quite a fussy pants and so he has been seeing a chiropractor for massage and gentle adjustments. It seems to be helping. That, or it is psychologically working for me. At any rate, Rhett seems less fussy and that is the ultimate goal in all this.

Every once in awhile I also get in a load of laundry. The "every once in awhile" part being the biggest contribution to why Milla has no clean socks right now and why we had to snatch a pair out of big brother's drawer this morning just so she could get dressed.

The dishes are generally about two dishwasher loads behind these days. Thank goodness James got me that new set of stainless steel pans for Christmas or else we would really be in trouble with the dish situation. If I didn't love my crockpot enough before, I most certainly do now. So much so that my ole standby crockpot kicked the bucket a few weeks ago. Actually, it could still work but the handle broke off the lid and a call to Rival (Crock Pot manufacturer) proved unsuccessful for me to order a replacement.

So that is my boring life right now. It yields very little excitement but much happiness since we are all quite in love with Rhett around here as we live in our housekeeping catastrophe of a house. Maybe I will get brave and post some pics of the different rooms like Della did. Just don't anyone hold their breath......

A Little Grease Fire to Liven Things Up

2011-10-06T19:49:00.003-05:00

Yeah, so I darn near caught our house on fire this evening while attempting to start dinner. Yay, me! I get the award for Idiot of the Day.

I was heating a skillet on the stove to sear some chicken and got preoccupied (only a few feet away) with another task for a little longer than I should have. When I came back and drizzled olive oil into the pan, it instantly caught fire. Live and learn....first time for everything, so I will definitely be more diligent in the future regarding not getting sidetracked with other tasks.

After last week's incapacitating illness that kept Reiss down for four days straight, he is back to school this week. It has taken him all week up until today to get back on track with being able to stay on task and maintain himself without meltdowns or disruptive behaviors. Poor little dude. If there is one thing I hate about autism (Actually, I hate autism altogether - all parts of it, no ifs, ands, or buts), it is the fact that the smallest things can set Reiss off into a tailspin. Granted, being sick for days on end is nothing small but it has taken him just as long as he was sick to get back into the swing of things at school to a point where he is not causing a ruckus for his classmates.

Less than two weeks until this baby makes it arrival. At this point, I get very little sleep due in part to the simple fact that I am so large that some whales are even smaller than I am, but also because my children allow me approximately the same amount of sleep as newborns allow. I am thoroughly exhausted and find myself getting annoyed by trivial things. It is a challenge, to say the least, to remain calm while trying to care for two children whose needs quite often exceed the needs of say, ten children. Try as I might to channel Michelle Duggar, often times the calming effect only comes after I retreat to the laundry room and devour some of the candy that was meant to be for Halloween. Five bags. Two weeks of being in there. You do the math. I will be buying more candy before Halloween, for sure.

In other news....I hate when I say that because it lacks any sort of creativity. However, what I am about to say this time literally is in the news. If you are in the mood to get ticked off about the injustices of the legal system and how children with special needs get the short end of the stick almost every time, go HERE. And if you really have a desire to get worked up, read the comments following the article. This kind of thing happens every day in schools around our nation. Unfortunately, this particular incident was at a school approximately five miles from my house, which drives home the point that no school, no community, is immune to this kind of treatment of our children by educational "professionals."

I said it on Facebook when I linked the article to my Wall and I will say it on here: God help this woman if she ever crosses my path because she will need it. And to Ms. Littleton - If, for some odd reason you happened to have stumbled upon my blog and perceive that statement as a threat, go right ahead.

Kick Me While I'm Down

2011-10-04T21:45:00.005-05:00

Thirty-eight weeks pregnant and a swift kick to the belly is how my day got started this morning. Not the best way to kick off a positive day. Get it? Kick. Off. Nevermind....

Actually, I was not down either. I was sitting on the side of the bed trying to wake Reiss by patting his bottom. As soon as he woke, he hauled off and kicked me and it just so happened to hit the big fat target called my baby bump, which is more like a baby whale. Typically, I am pretty quick to react and can fend off his occasional hits or kicks but they usually come at a time when he is being placed in timeout and I am more conscious to what may be coming. This kick was his first action of the morning and as soon as his eyes opened. He was not in trouble at the time or being hauled off to a timeout - just annoyed apparently, with his bottom being patted or by being woken up or annoyed that it was me waking him and not James or who knows what. You just never know. The kick caught me by surprise.

He has been a little "off" for the last two weeks anyway, so this was just icing on the cake. This, too, shall pass and hopefully, I will not have to endure any kicks to the belly once there is an agonizing c-section incision to contend with as well.

Kicking must have been his thing for the morning because he then proceeded to try to hit (and missed) the director of his school at drop-off as she tried to get him out of my SUV. He was preoccupied with the air vents in the back of the console and clearly did not want to exit the vehicle. Once out of the SUV, he then hauled off and kicked her too.

I do not tell people things like this to publicly criticize my own child but rather, to demonstrate how autism can facilitate inappropriate responses from the child involved. I do not condone him kicking and am certainly embarrassed by it, but I also do not use autism as an excuse. Yes, autism is what causes the inappropriate responses, including those physical ones, but it does not get him out of disciplinary consequences when he uses such a means to react. Does that make sense? Long story short, yes, he is being a brat and it is because of the autism but we do not let it slide when he does such things.

In other news, as if we did not already have enough reasons to believe our neighbor is an oddball, we got a knock on the door this evening by a local policeman with quite a story to tell. Without going into major details, we now have even more reason to consider our neighbor a nut job and it involves delusional behavior, a physical altercation, and our neighbor's beliefs that some local teenagers are selling secrets to radical Muslims. I knew he was weird.

The cop came knocking on our door because he could not get anyone next door to answer even though he saw someone walking around inside. Now, this neighbor has lived here for over five years and I can honestly say that I can probably count on one hand, with a finger or two leftover, how many times I have physically seen his son who lives there with him. Supposedly, the son has a disability from a work-related accident and cannot work. There must be something else going on as well though, and I mean something mental. The guy can walk so it seems odd that in that amount of time he has been outside or left the house so few times.

Whatever....I just hope to goodness that they keep their freaky-dink stuff to themselves. Coming near my kids with their weirdness would let loose a fury that I do not want to consider right now, considering my current physical condition. Or ever, for that matter.

Top 10 Reasons Having a Sick Child Rocks

2011-09-30T13:25:00.010-05:00

In over six years of being a parent, neither of my children has ever been terribly sick. I have never known what it is like to have an ailing child lying around all day sleeping or watching tv or staring blankly at the walls. Oh, we have had our bouts of vomiting, diarrhea, and a sniffle here or there that lasted a day or less. We have also had the seizures with Reiss, but he bounces back after a few hours of deep sleep.

Reiss had one ear infection when he was a few weeks old - coincidentally (or not so coincidentally), immediately following when we began supplementing his breastfeedings with dairy-based formula. Milla has never had an ear infection.

Nothing has ever kept either of them down for more than 24 hours.

No, really. I know, hard to believe, right? People do not believe me when I tell them Reiss has never picked his nose either.

Oh wait, we did have that time when the hospital overdosed and nearly killed Reiss when he had to go to the ER for one of his seizures. The medication overdose kept him down for close to three days but can we really count that since it was medical "professionals" at fault (yes, we know this because the doctor and nurse stood there in the ER, bantering back and forth about whose fault it was, right there in front of my husband and me as we watched our son convulse on the exam table) and not a natural cause like a cold virus?

For these last four days though, Reiss has been caught in the grips of a cold that has him coughing, sneezing, and watery-eyed. He has been whispering when he wants to talk (which isn't much, surprisingly) and shaking or nodding his head when asked a question.

I find myself asking the question, "Wow, so this is what it is like to have a sick kid?"

And although it breaks my heart to see Reiss this way, I still like to think there is a silver lining to everything. So I have come up with ten reasons why having a sick child rocks. God or karma (or whatever belief you subscribe to) is probably going to come back to haunt me for making light of Reiss being sick. I will likely be struck down by contracting Reiss's illness and will be down for the count next week, but honestly, it has crossed my mind that all I need now is to figure out how to duplicate this week in a way that does not involve germs or my little man feeling miserable.

10. We are homebound. That is a money-saver right there! Well, assuming I do not go online to visit Amazon or Land's End.
9. I have cleaned out things around here that I forgot existed.
8. No homework to oversee. Being in kindergarten, Reiss does not have a whole lot of it but does any parent enjoy homework time?
7. No therapists in my home every day = not worrying about whether or not the house is picked up.
6. I am ahead of the game with the laundry situation.
5. No weekly Chick-fil-A outing. Okay, I love Chick-fil-A just as much as the next mom. I do! And biting into that juicy, fat-filled crispy chicken sandwich drenched in mayo? Yum! The play area there...well, it is absolutely delightful, especially when there are 37 other children besides my own in there and I am the only parent within immediate distance to supervise - which is the case almost every single week. But skipping a week of all that bliss now and then is just as delightful.
4. My duties as house servant have dropped dramatically this week. Apparently, sick kids do not ask for much, other than help with finding an on-demand tv show approximately every twenty-four minutes.
3. I have squeezed in two naps this week! I cannot remember the last time I got two naps within two months of one another.
2. My house has not been this quiet since before having children, which leads me to the #1 reason having a sick child is like a small luxury...
1. In the midst of the quiet and being able to sit for more than 14 consecutive seconds, I have gotten to read. Real books. No Dr. Seuss or Llama Llama or SkippyjonJones. Nothing that came from a Scholastic order form. Real books....off my neglected dusty bookshelves. During. Daylight. Hours!

Just Let Me Complain.

2011-09-18T19:58:00.004-05:00

There. You have been warned. If you are not in the mood for my Debbie Downer rant for the day, buzz off. Come back another day when I can put on my rainbows and marshmallows happy face.

Four. More. Weeks.

This pregnancy is approaching its final stages and I could not be happier. At least, not with that particular aspect of life right now. Other things? Well, with every day I am getting more and more - how shall I say this - witchy, only with a capital "B." Or impatient. Maybe that is a more appropriate word.

I am complain-y and cranky and tired. Literally exhausted. I am uncomfortable. I feel things that I did not feel when I was pregnant with Reiss or Milla, like when I sit too long and my legs feel like the circulation is getting cut off. I am HUGE. The nurse at my OB appointment the other day said I had actually lost weight from my previous visit but seriously, I am ginormous. I waddle, for cryin' out loud! I do not sleep well and then I get up and have to deal with two children who can be well-behaved on some days and then downright terrors on other days.

Whoever, whomever, whatever word you want to use, said that children's behaviors are the direct reflection of the mood of the parents never had a child with autism. I can be as sweet as sugar and spice and everything nice and there are just some days when these monkeys are relentless with their drive to send me over the edge. I hate that I feel this way and I do not like it when people jump for joy over being away from their kids (like so many people I see hooting and cyber high-fiving at the beginning of the school year) but honestly, at this point, I cannot wait to go to the hospital to have this baby just so I can catch up on some much-needed rest. I will miss my kiddos and they will come to visit but I need rest. Sleep. I need sleep. I am losing my marbles without sleep and wondering why, why, WHY after six years of being a parent I still get about the same amount of sleep as a new parent.

Oh wait, I remember why. Autism. Yes, autism often has a way of making every aspect of life a living hell, especially when it comes to the parent or the caregiver ever feeling truly rested. Ever. Again. And while I am complaining, thank you, autism. I hate you!

Rant over because my non-gluten-free and super-bad-for-me frozen biscuits have just finished their stint in the toaster oven. Off to eat them with our organic jam. Because I'm feeling rebellious and that's just the way I'm gonna roll with today's punches.

Dear Sears...The Kardashians? Really?

2011-09-12T12:09:00.004-05:00

Have you seen THIS?

After browsing the ads in yesterday's Sunday paper, I felt tempted to shoot an email message off to Sears in response to the launch of their most recently acquired line of clothing: Kardashian Kollection. You know, in all my spare time.

My message would likely have been some long-winded reminder that since their beginnings Sears has seemingly touted a purpose of catering to the average-Joe type of American.

Imagine my surprise at Sears's front-paging (yes, I am using that as a verb) of this sassy and provocative line of clothing brandishing the Kardashian name when what Americans (or perhaps just myself?) are used to seeing come out Sears are commercials and print ads featuring flannel-clad men out mowing their lawns on their Craftsman riding mowers, tools for repairing any imaginable household disaster, and sparkling appliances with every last convenience option a homemaker could hope to have available at the touch of a button.

I will admit that I do not watch any of the Kardashian series and my judgments are simply preconceived notions derived from seeing the previews now and then and so although I am merely guessing here, I feel fairly confident that not one of those Kardashian women has ever done lawn work, much less mowed their own lawn and certainly not on a riding mower. I would be surprised if a single one of them knows a thing about repairs of any kind involving anything outside perhaps, a broken nail. Even then, they have people for that as well, right? As far as taking advantage of the conveniences of an appliance, well, they have people for all those menial tasks too, don't they? Or no?

My point is how does a company go directly from target marketing to the average middle-class American to targeting fashion conscious women who buy clothes based on the brand-name of a family of celebrity divas? And why is Sears, of all the down-to-earth companies out there, soliciting this name to American households?

Perhaps my message to Sears should just go something like what I have been wanting to ask the media and the gossip rags and on my facebook status all along...

Dear Sears:
Why on earth am I supposed to care about these spoiled Kardashian twits?

Preparing for School and Ditching the Nuker

2011-09-04T21:07:00.005-05:00

Holiday weekend. Not a lot going on here. The kids start school Tuesday, Milla in preschool and Reiss in kindergarten. Reiss will attend with one of his ABA therapists by his side full-time. I have been working on getting all their materials ready to go. If it weren't for us being gluten-free and casein-free, we would have nothing to prepare for, as the school they are attending generously provides all necessary school supplies.

The snacks are provided by a designated child in each class each week, however, because the snacks provided by others are rarely gluten-free or casein-free, all of Reiss's and Milla's snacks will come from home. Other than fresh fruit, I have requested to each of their teachers that neither child eat anything that is not provided from home. Since Reiss already has a few years of preschool under his belt, I am fully aware that many parents do not follow the healthy snacks only rule, which usually results in children bringing in Goldfish crackers, Fruit Loops, Fruit Roll-Ups, cheese sticks, and other snacks that either do not meet our dietary restrictions or fit within our guidelines, but are not things I would prefer that my children eat or at least, not on a regular basis.

Another area of concern is with the amount of time the children will play with Play-Doh while at school and since the actual Play-Doh brand crafting dough is not gluten-free, I am providing each of the kids with a few different colors of Crayola Model Magic. My hopes are that the instructions on each Ziploc bag I will provide will be a sufficient reminder for their teachers to store the Model Magic properly so that James and I do not have to take out a second mortgage in order to keep both kids stocked with crafting dough throughout the year.

In other news, we have been slowly - very slowly - replacing our plastic food storage containers with glass and stainless steel tin options. Each piece of aluminum and non-stick cookware is also making its way out our door, one-by-one, and slowly being replaced with stainless steel pieces.

Naturally, it would seem that getting rid of our microwave should be on the list of home goods that need another home. So sooner than I expected, I got the motivation for doing so after reading THIS piece on New Life on a Homestead. I laughed out loud when Kendra, the blog's author, mentioned she was hesitant to stand in front of the microwave when it was in use because I am the same way. I have been for awhile but even more since I have been pregnant. Who knows what that thing is emitting when it's powered up! My paranoia is apparently farther reaching than Kendra's though, because I do not turn the microwave sideways away from myself or my kids. I figure whatever harmful effects are being blasted out of that piece of kitchen gadgetry are likely flying out all sides and in all directions. Turning it sideways will not make a difference....or will it?

This morning marked Day #1 of our venture into Microwave-Free Living.

At breakfast, everything went off without a hitch. Sunday mornings we generally have bacon, scrambled eggs, toast, and fruit. The eggs get cooked on the stove, the toast in the toaster, and the fruit, of course, we just eat sliced and raw. I baked our bacon in the oven and was surprised at how evenly it cooked and how well it tasted - much better than I had expected and more flavorful than when I cook bacon in the microwave. For lack of a better theory, I have a feeling the improved flavor was due to it cooking in its own grease, whereas, I always cooked the bacon in the past on a special little microwave-safe rack, separating the bacon from its juices.

I had lunch all planned out for excluding the microwave and preparing it was to be easy enough. Boil the hot dogs on the stove. Bake the crinkle fries in the oven. Heat the canned beans in a pan on the stove. With my confidence level on high, I absentmindedly placed our frozen hot dog buns in the microwave oven and zapped them, only realizing what I had done just as the timer beeped at the finish.

Darnit......I didn't even make it for a full day without nuking something. My resolve was not banished though and I picked right back up on our new venture soon after lunch when I began our dinner preparations by mixing the ingredients for spaghetti sauce in the crockpot. I also baked a spaghetti squash in the oven along with a butternut squash to be used in muffins in a few days. We all like spaghetti squash but I also prepared gluten-free pasta on the stove and ultimately, that was a saving grace because the spaghetti squash was bad on the inside when I cut it open to scoop out and reheat. And just because I was on a roll, I also made some brownies. The recipe calls for slicing them into nine brownies but I was slicing them four by four in the pan, to make sixteen. Reiss ate five of them after dinner and with ingredients like the ones listed in that recipe, who am I to say no to giving him such a great source of protein?

Other than the hot dog bun infraction, we stuck to microwave-free living today. Here's to tomorrow - a fresh start. A new day to prove we do not need to "nuke" our food. To Labor Day.....hope you all have a great one!

Reliability is Everything

2011-08-21T20:36:00.003-05:00

Even at forty years of age (yes, that happened back in July), I continue to be amazed by my own idiocy at times. You would think I would learn from some of my own mistakes but no, there they are and I just keep going back and making them again and again and again. I have come to realize there are some things I can just rely on but for some reason that reliability does not come to mind when I am in the moment.

Like when I decide a trip to Target sounds good. Am I the only one who has to deal with customer service or have some sort of interaction with a manager every single time I visit this store? It goes without fail. Something will ring up incorrectly and the cashier cannot correct it after I have been rung out. Or my organic nectarines are ringing up at $1.69 each instead of per pound and for some reason, the cashier does not understand why there might be a tiny problem with paying $1.69 for one nectarine. Just today those little teeny boppers in their bright red polo shirts in the customer service department were treated to not one, but two visits by me. First, I had to make a return upon entering the store. Then as I left, I had to go see them again because the cashier did not ring up my coupon. Will I go back? Certainly. Darnit if I don't get sucked in by those $3 off meat coupons on the days when the Laura's Lean beef tenderloins (filet mignon) typically expire. That spirit of the chase and a good deal on meat are generally what lure me into going to Target in the first place.

Parents brag about their kids...a lot. It's natural, I know - we all want to be proud of our offspring for something. I see it on Facebook. I hear it when I am somewhere (sometimes at Target!) out shopping and a parent or two are congregating in the aisle (usually blocking it and making passage impossible for those of us who are actually shopping). I wonder if bragging on their children has that same backfire effect on those parents as what I experience. Just a few days ago I was bragging to Reiss's occupational therapist about the wise choices Reiss made while we were in the play area of a local fast food place that we had just visited before his therapy appointment. He had told some other boys he did not want to play with them because they were being too mean. So, of course, right as I stood there bragging, he and Milla were crashing toy bulldozers into the walls and ramming them into one another as hard as they possibly could. Irony? No, just idiocy on my part. And reliability on their part. Thanks for the backfire, kids. Love you!

Or, here's another example of one of my bragging backfires. It never, ever fails that on every occasion when I brag and go telling someone "Reiss has not had a seizure in ...... days/weeks/months. Yeah, I think we have this whole seizure thing nipped in the bud" that his rebel neurons will fire all wrong and within 48 hours of my bragging, there it is, eyes rolled to one side of the head, convulsions, loss of bowels, vomiting...the whole nine yards which usually also include me sitting there like a blithering idiot, crying my eyes out and wondering why my child has to go through such an ordeal. Better yet, why any child has to go through such an ordeal. So did I hesitate even an inkling just last Tuesday when I crossed my fingers and knocked on wood and proudly declared Reiss having been seizure-free for six full months? No, I did not. And sure enough, last Thursday evening Reiss had a seizure. And again this morning too. I wonder how long before I will start bragging again.

How about this one: I can accurately predict, almost to the hour, how long after I clean a toilet in this house that someone will make a fouler than foul, commode-clogging, skid-marking number two visit to the bathroom. Have I learned my lesson? Nope, I just keep cleaning these bathrooms. One of these days, I am going to figure out how to use that prediction skill to my benefit.

Speaking of airing my dirty laundry....I try to keep up with the laundry by washing at least one load per day. This doesn't always happen and often I may go enough days without turning the washer on that the carts are overflowing. But one thing I can count on is the fact that once I get back into that washing-drying-folding groove and everything gets caught up we will have a day of potty accidents. Or an unusually large number of clothes changes because of food spills, bloody noses, or, in Milla's case, sometimes just because she changes her mind. She is, after all, a girl. It's like a conspiracy against me with the laundry carts demanding to be fed. I should just let them continue to overflow and their demands to be refilled will disappear. Maybe then we won't have so many food spills, Reiss's puzzling issue of bloody noses will be solved, and Milla won't have the option to change clothes every hour because she won't have any clean clothes to change into. The laundry carts will stay full and there will be peace and harmony and dirty clothes abound. Note to self: Stop doing laundry. Problems solved.

For the last several months, I have had a goal to mop the kitchen floor on Sunday night or Monday day. It gets cordless vacuumed daily...or perhaps, I should say hourly - almost. Here's another area when I can almost accurately predict when and where a large mess is going to happen. Usually within four hours of post-mopping I am cleaning up a spilled drink, an exceptionally messy snack, or some other form of splat on our newly shining floor. This past week Sunday came and went, Monday came and went, and so went the entire week until Friday when I finally got around to mopping the kitchen floor at around 10am. Should I have been surprised when Reiss, at around 12:45 (well within our four-hour post-mopping window) and in a moment of me not paying attention for all of thirty seconds at most, disappeared into the garage without my notice and retrieved a bottle of wood glue and then proceeded to spill half of it onto the clean floor? No, I shouldn't have been surprised. But I was. There it was, good old reliability. And my idiocy in not seeing what was coming.

In summing things up, I think what really needs to happen is I should stop feeding my family marked down filet mignon, terminate all bragging about my kids, and cease all housecleaning efforts around here. Seems easy enough, right? Lessons learned. Now I'm off to tackle a load of laundry before hitting the hay....

I'm Not Brangelina. Nor Am I a Rock Star.

2011-08-12T20:59:00.006-05:00

But just like them, I travel with an entourage.

Today we went to go see The Smurfs with no less than three people trailing in our wake. Those three people were Reiss's afternoon ABA therapist, his morning ABA therapist who is training to be a consultant, and our ABA consultant - our BCBA (Board Certified Behavior Analyst) - here for her weekly visit.

Typically, our entourage only consists of one, sometimes two people, however, when Milla was also receiving ABA therapy, there were days when we could be caught out in public with as many as five additional people in our party. Is it any wonder why I just want to lead a normal life? Believe me, I get how lucky we are to live where we live, in a state where our children have access to the necessary therapies they require in order to ensure them the highest level of success life has to offer for those with an autism diagnosis. But it comes with a price indeed - and not only in the form of obliteration to the bank account.

I really am happy to have the help we have but on that one day during the week that I insisted we have a break from therapy and not a single therapist graces our home with their presence, it is like a free pass to not care if there are toys and crumbs and pillows and papers and balls and whatever other remnants of the preceding night's activities still lying around on the living room floor. To not care if Reiss left his dirty underwear and socks on his floor or worry about whether or not I was able to make his bed before the morning therapist arrives. To keep Milla in pajamas until noon if I choose. To take things just a bit more slowly and not be the supplement Nazi trying to make sure Reiss has his vitamins taken before therapy starts for the morning. To not worry about immediately cleaning up the breakfast mess because, god forbid, what are these young therapists going to think if they walk into the kitchen and see dirty juice glasses and cereal bowls half full of soggy loops that have turned to goop still sitting at the kids' place settings? Oh, it is a joy to have ABA therapy and a level of sanity in our lives but that sanity comes with its own share of craziness.

Enough about that.

About the movie. We actually went to - do not fall over - the movie theater. No, not the dollar theater - the regular theater. And anyone who knows me knows I have not been to a movie in a regular theater in so many years that I had no idea how much it would even cost to get Reiss, Milla, and myself in the doors. For an afternoon movie, it was $17.50 for the three of us: $7.50 for me and $5.00 for each of the kids. I hope everyone out there realizes how much $17.50 can buy even in this yucky economy. All it takes is a little common sense and just the right sale. Needless to say, I felt a wee bit robbed knowing I was going home with nothing more than a memory of an afternoon out with the kids....and our entourage, of course.

A Fishy Kind of Funeral

2011-08-09T20:21:00.005-05:00

Once upon a time about five months ago, Reiss began "working" towards getting a fish. He had his days where he displayed really great behaviors and he also had possibly as many days of making poor choices. On those days where the good outweighed the bad, he earned a gumball on his behavior chart. When he finally met his goal in April, we went shopping, as a family outing, for a fish for Reiss.

Reiss picked out a bluish-purple betta fish and named him Nemo.

Nemo has been losing color, not eating, breathing more slowly, and has been all-around sluggish for around a week. The almighty Google and all its knowledge could not save our fish, despite an epsom salt bath and a frozen pea feeding. I knew Nemo was going to pass away at some point in the night last night and asked Reiss to say good-bye to him yesterday evening.

A sinus infection had me awake around 3:30 am last night and that is when I discovered Nemo's death.

This evening we had a funeral for Nemo. Contradicting Asian myths regarding pregnancy and death that dictate pregnant women should not be in the presence of the dead, I attended the funeral and took pictures. I hope the myth only applies to people and not fish.

Nemo in his brand-new casket. James just entered the iPhone world on Friday and his phone's box made the perfect burial container for a betta fish. May Nemo rest in peace in the comforts of his lined satiny smooth box.

Milla helps with the burial.

Reiss places the final dustings of earth on our dearly beloved.

Even fish deserve a proper headstone, right?

Murphy's Law of Parenting:

2011-07-15T15:47:00.003-05:00

It never fails on those very rare occasions that when you, the parent, work up the confidence to leave home for an afternoon outing without the backpack stocked with "just in case" clothes that your child will spring a leak just as things are getting really fun.

That is exactly what happened to us at the Y this afternoon.

The crazy children attending Y camp under the supervision (and I use that word lightly because the behaviors demonstrated by the camp kids made my children seem like angels) of a teenage boy and girl had just moved on from the play area where Reiss and Milla and I had chosen to play and I was sitting there enjoying somewhat of a break when Reiss came over holding his stuff and saying he needed to go pee. Only problem was the entire front of his khaki shorts was already wet and yellow.

Exit. Stage left. To the bathrooom and then out of the Y.

Since the Y was unintentionally our last stop of the afternoon, we were not able to stop off for chicken breasts at Target and now I have an errand I have to run this evening. Blah.

Friday evenings have unofficially become Movie Night in our house. We pop a DVD in and I make the easiest stovetop popcorn recipe ever. Easy Peezy. I cannot take credit for it and unfortunately cannot give credit where it is due. I found the recipe - or technique rather - online awhile back. Here it is:

You will need.....
1/3 cup unpopped popcorn kernels
3 T. oil of your choice (I use coconut oil.)

Directions.....
Place the oil and three kernels of the popcorn in a covered large pan or dutch oven and heat on the stovetop to medium heat. When the oil is hot enough and you hear the three kernels pop, remove the pan from the heat. Start counting to thirty slowly (one thousand one, one thousand two...) as you remove the popped kernels. Discard the three popped kernels and pour in the 1/3 cup of popcorn kernels and replace the lid to the pan. When you reach thirty, return the pan to the heat. Once the popcorn begins to pop, give it a shake occasionally. Let it all pop until it begins to slow to one kernel every 3-5 seconds. Remove from the heat and season as you like. Thanks to The Spunky Coconut, Herbamare Original organic seasoning has become our popcorn seasoning of choice.

Enjoy your inexpensive, and much healthier than microwave popcorn bag popcorn!

Long time.....

2011-07-05T15:31:00.003-05:00

I am still here but most days just fly by and I feel like I have nothing to say. Then, before you know it, it has been almost two months since I have written anything. Actually, there are a few unfinished and unpublished entries waiting in the wings but with the passage of days or weeks they have lost their relevance.

Anyhoo....

Today, Milla and I went out to return a Redbox movie and buy some fruit. Seventy-six dollars (I used to be somewhat of an extreme couponer but we also did not eat eat anywhere near as healthy as we do now) later we made it out of the store with two very full reusable bags (perhaps the equivalent of 6-8 plastic grocery bags) packed to the brim with the most wonderful organic nectarines I have been so fortunate to eat in a long, long time. We also bought an avocado and a watermelon and bananas and eggs and bacon and orange juice and tons of veggies and some marked down ~~crap~~ chemical-free sirloin for fajitas or kabobs or who knows what I will fancy for dinner this evening. And some donuts. Because we eat healthy like that.

As I pulled into the parking lot, Milla asked if we could get "one of those pets" and I had no idea what she was talking about so this, of course, was reason to get all cranky-pants on me. Shame on me for not knowing exactly what someone is referring to when they say "one of those pets." She then clarified that she wanted to get one of the pets you get with a hook. I told her she would be better to play that when Daddy is with her because he knows how to control that hook contraption in a much more coordinated manner than I do. She protested "But Daddy doesn't have any money! You have money!" and so I laughed and laughed. It is funny how it never crosses kids' minds where money comes from. It would be interesting to really know where she thinks my money comes from, considering I have not been employed outside the home in years.

I am boring myself here and this is why I have not been heard or seen in two months. I'm outie.....

Are You Smarter Than a Five-Year-Old?

2011-05-11T15:51:00.009-05:00

One just never knows the direction in which the spinning wheels are headed in Reiss's head. One thing is certain though, he will come up with numerous inquiries that boggle the mind on a variety of topics every single day. If you want to feel like a big dummy, just come to my house. The invitation is open any day of the year.

Here is a sampling of questions posed to me by Reiss and my responses. These are just from today.

Why don't jets fly in space?
Jets are not equipped to break through the Earth's atmosphere.

Why can't fish walk?
Fish swim in the water with their fins. They don't have feet.

How deep is the sky?
There are different heights in the sky, Reiss. The sky doesn't really start or end anywhere.

How many gallons of water are in the ocean?
I don't know. We could look it up on the internet.

How many teeth does a seal have?
I don't know. We could look it up on the internet.

How deep can ducks swim down in the water?
I don't know. We could look it up on the internet.

Why is this flower yellow?
I don't know. We could look it up on the internet.

Why is z-o-d-d-r-e-g not a word?
I don't know.

How old is God?
I don't know.

What would happen if somebody dropped a truck down and smashed God?
Um......

Okay, see, I don't have a clue. How in the world does a person answer something like that?

My Son Is Not ASD!

2011-05-10T10:57:00.003-05:00

My son has autism spectrum disorder (ASD).

He, himself, is not ASD!

Frankly, I am sick, tired, and extremely disappointed with the parents who continually refer to their child who has autism as being ASD by making statements such as "My son/daughter is ASD/PDD-NOS/Asperger's." When a friend or relative has cancer, do you say, "She is cancer?"

Just think about that one for a second.

Wake up, parents! How can we unite as a community and help one another when we do not agree on something as simple as semantics?

It is one thing for a person in the general population to mistakenly and ignorantly, but not necessarily excusably, refer to a child as ASD or as being ASD, but I feel it is quite another for a parent of one of these special children to refer to their own child in such a derogatory manner. And yes, in my opinion, such a reference does hold a negative connotation

I was once accused (by a relative, no less) as only seeing my child as autistic and nothing else. The person who made the accusation said it because my family's lives have come to revolve so much around autism. I do not deny that much of what we do and how we go about daily tasks is dictated by how we have adapted to having a child who has autism. Any parent of a child with special needs (not just autism) can attest to the challenges that come to the table in even the most minute details of everyday life.

Having said all that, I have never referred to Reiss as being ASD. And if I have or ever do, I welcome the slap in the face. Bring it.

Rant over. Next chapter...(The Story of Us, Taylor Swift)

Sooner or Later, It Was Bound to Happen

2011-05-09T15:12:00.009-05:00

When you give a three-year-old girl (or boy) a pair of scissors and then offer her the freedom of being relatively unsupervised while she crafts paper in whatever manner she likes (read as cutting each sheet of paper into no less than four million pieces) on a daily basis, you better just count on her deciding to cut her own hair at some point in time.

We have thus far, until today, been lucky enough that Milla has only given herself one haircut and it was in an unnoticeable place on her head. Notice I said until today.

She looks like she was crying here but it was actually Mommy who was nearly in tears. She thought she had done something really fabulous and totally necessary, apparently, forgetting the fact that we just trimmed her bangs last night.

Lesson learned. Scissors are back up in the out-of-reach-of-little-people cabinet where they ended up after haircut #1. Wonder how long they will stay up there this time.

Do NOT Google "Wart"

2011-05-07T16:00:00.003-05:00

And especially not on Google Images. Just consider yourself warned.

I was getting ready to make dinner and since I have a child-free moment of spare time (something that is next to non-existent in these parts), I thought perhaps it might be a good idea to see if I could find anything in Google Images that looks similar to the annoying, but not disgusting tiny little growth on the big toe of my left foot. Dinner is not sounding so good now. And no, I did not find anything even remotely close to what now seems like a harmless little spot on my toe.

Aside from that moment of near nausea, today has been an awesome day. The only thing that could make it just a little more ideal is if the temperature outside would rise about ten degrees and those pesky clouds would quit hiding the sun. Otherwise, I couldn't be happier, as I have accomplished absolutely nothing today.

This morning I got up and made the mix for the pancake batter for our regular Pancake Saturday tradition. We ate breakfast and then I went back to bed until 11:30. After showering, I went and got some lunch and then we all headed outside, not to return inside for close to three hours. It was pure relaxation.

The house is a pit and the laundry is two days behind. None of the beds are made. The bathroom towel sits unhung on the sink counter and the soap pump is broken (thank you, Milla) and the step stool is in its usual in-the-way place right in front of the sink. In the kitchen, three days worth of stainless steel water bottles await their washing as they sit on countertops that have not been wiped since breakfast this morning. A blood and urine test kit sits atop a pile of papers that need to be sorted. There are papers and books and toys and dolls and trucks and teasets and balls and blocks and every imaginable other type of clutter cluttering up the living room and play room but by golly, this has been nothing less than a fabulous day.

Now if I can get some heat, I'll call it perfect.

Cold and Rainy AGAIN...

2011-05-02T14:41:00.005-05:00

By the time May rolls around each year, I should not still be thankful for having heated seats in my SUV but this year, I am. Oh yes, I actually did an internal happy dance when I got in the truck out of the rain at Walgreens today after stopping off for a Redbox movie to keep the kids occupied since goodness knows I am not going out in this weather for them to play.

It's 48 degrees outside and I nearly shed a tear when the heat kicked on in the house this morning. I really don't know how much more cold weather I can handle. I want sun. I want heat. I want to walk around outside without my winter coat on. I need to feel my skin tingling, knowing I am getting a dose of vitamin D for the day.

Recently, I stumbled upon Dwija's House Unseen. Life Unscripted. blog and am strangely drawn to the mundane goings on of her family and their remodeling projects. Maybe it's because it's a mundane different than my own mundane. Or maybe it is because she is thrifty, like me. It could be because she is so funny. Yes, she is really funny - you should trot on over and check out her little piece of the world. I advise reading from the very beginning.

What confounds me the most about Dwija though, is her love for Michigan's change of seasons and what each of them brings. As someone who has lived all but three years and several summers of my nearly forty years in Indiana, I am done - DONE, I tell you - with this cold weather. Believe me, if I could pick up my family and move, I would convince my husband it's for the best. But I can't and we can thank autism in part for that....but I'll save that explanation for another day.

So Dwija, or Dweej, as she signs her posts, seems fascinated by the dramatic change of seasons. She has been in Michigan for around a year. I have to question if she will be singing the same tune several years from now when she and her family have endured year after year after god-awful cold year of living in the tundra, as we do here in Indiana. I'm reading, Dwija, and you can bet I'll stay tuned to find out if you are still loving things in July...you know, when we are all still waiting around for Spring's arrival with heat wave temperatures of maybe 50 degrees.

I know, I'm an optimist. It's what I do. If you want real optimism, go visit Dwija.

Light It Up Blue? No, Thank You!

2011-03-31T16:43:00.025-05:00

Tomorrow, April 1st, Autism Speaks will kick off their 2nd annual Light It Up Blue campaign to celebrate World Autism Awareness Day. Thousands, and possibly millions, of individuals and businesses will take part in the campaign to shine the light on autism and awareness of its growing prevalence in children. Participants will get involved in a variety of ways that include wearing blue clothing, changing Facebook profile pics to the "Light It Up Blue" banner, downloading an iPhone app, and many other ways. The most obvious and likely the most popular route to shed a blue light on autism awareness will be by doing just that - displaying blue lights.

Sounds like a really noble cause, right?

Well, before you head out to the local Home Depot (or anywhere else) and plunk down a few bucks for those blue lightbulbs, let's take a look at the organization behind the Light It Up Blue campaign.

The motto for Autism Speaks is "Autism Speaks. It's time to listen." They are correct - at a rate of 1 in 110 (according to the Centers for Disease Control's average - although many research organizations will quote the rate being more frequent than that) children being diagnosed, with boys being four times as likely as girls to be diagnosed, yes, it is indeed time for someone to start listening. But for whom is Autism Speaks speaking? And to who is Autism Speaks listening? Is it those who are affected by autism? Or to those who line their seemingly very deep pockets?

Autism Speaks raises millions and millions of dollars per year - to the tune of around forty-five million dollars in 2009. But where exactly does all that money go?

Charity Navigator is a non-profit organization whose mission is to facilitate intelligent charitable contributions by providing factual, unbiased information on charities based on their financial efficiency. Charitable organizations found on Charity Navigator are evaluated based on the IRS Statistics of Income. In other words, the information found on the Charity Navigator website is based in large part on a charity's IRS reportings.

With that said, one can compare how Autism Speaks rates in comparison to other large, well-known charities. Let's start with location.

Autism Speaks has chosen some prime real estate for their New York City office, but in order to hide the fact that their main office is located on Park Avenue, they apparently rely on those of us outside of New York City to be unfamiliar with which streets intersect others. On their website, Autism Speaks lists their main office address as 1 East 33rd Street. The Charity Navigator website lists the Autism Speaks address as 2 Park Avenue. Someone obviously has their information incorrect here. Or do they? According to Google maps, guess which street intersects at 1 East 33rd Street? Park Avenue! Call it 33rd Street if you want, but that is Park Avenue, baby!

A charitable organization on Park Avenue? Really? Autism Speaks couldn't find a suitable office space in a less expensive location than one that rubs shoulders with the likes of HSBC Bank (one of the world's largest banks with assets close to 200 billion dollars) and credit card giant Chase Bank?

Let's talk revenue versus expenses. As I mentioned earlier, in 2009, Autism Speaks reported revenues of roughly forty-five million dollars. Their expenses were over forty-three million dollars. Those incredibly poor financial statistics earned them an overall rating of one out of a possible four stars by Charity Navigator for their Efficiency Rating.

Even not-for-profit organizations have to pay their employees and executives. We cannot expect people to be so giving to go out and perform a highly stressful job without compensating them, but how does Autism Speaks rate? How much does the average executive working at a non-profit organization make per year?

Since it wouldn't be fair to compare salaries alone due to factors such as an organization's location and cost of living for that location, it is better to compare the differences in relation to what percentage of an organization a particular executive's salary takes up, as does the Charity Navigator website.

To compare the salaries of the two executives listed by Autism Speaks on the Charity Navigator website to other non-profit executives, I picked three charities certainly everyone has heard of: American Red Cross, American Heart Association, and St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. Even the salary of American Heart Association's former executive director and CEO who weighed in with the highest salary (again, based on percentage of the organization's expenses) of the three organizations - a salary equal to 0.17% of the organization's yearly expenses - does not come close to the 0.93% of expenses Autism Speaks paid out to Dr. Geri Dawson, Chief Science Officer. American Red Cross paid their execs salaries equal to an average of 0.01% of their expenses and St. Jude Children's Research Hospital's highest paid listed executive made just 0.08% of their overall expenses.

If I could just go off on a tangent here (because it just wouldn't be right for me to bring up the name of someone involved in the science behind autism without mentioning vaccines), Dr. Dawson seems a bit confused, herself, on the vaccine stance that Autism Speaks has notably taken over the years. Autism Speaks has held strongly to the belief that vaccines and autism cannot possibly have any link to one another, yet, Dr. Dawson contradicts herself in an interview conducted with her in 2009.

A few snippets from the interview: She stated, "It remains scientifically plausible that the challenge to the immune system resulting from a vaccine (or other immunological challenges) could, in susceptible individuals, have adverse consequences for the developing brain."

She goes on further to say, "Evidence does not support the theory that vaccines are causing an autism epidemic. However, it is plausible that specific genetic or medical factors that are present in a small minority of individuals might lead to an adverse response to a vaccine and trigger the onset of autism symptoms."

I'm sorry, but isn't admitting that individuals who experience an adverse response to a vaccine that triggers the onset of autism symptoms very similar to saying that, had those individuals not received vaccines, they would not have had the adverse response that ultimately triggered the autism symptoms?

So where else does all that money go that Autism Speaks raises every year? It does not go to individuals or families affected by autism and they have no problem admitting to that fact. In their own words, Autism Speaks states "Autism Speaks does not award grants to individuals or fund an individual or family for participation in personal programs."

So again, I ask, to whom is Autism Speaks listening? It sure isn't my family. If they were listening to me, they would practice some common sense frugality by moving their offices to somewhere with less notoriety than an address that probably 90% of the world's population has heard of. If they were listening to me, they would pay their executives less money and get someone in there who can work out a better ratio of revenue to expenses. But most importantly, if they were listening to me, they would put families first. If one of their main objectives is to bring awareness to autism, why not expand that awareness to the devastating financial effects autism has on families and assist them in a more direct financial way?

As far as Autism Speaks speaking, they certainly do not speak for my family either as they have done nothing for my son. Sure, they bring awareness to autism but at a very obviously high pricetag. And who needs awareness at a price? My family is very aware of autism on a daily basis....for FREE!

Notes to Self:

2011-03-29T15:28:00.002-05:00

Washing an empty bottle of cod liver oil in the dishwasher before tossing it in the recycle bin is not a good idea. I have set out a bowl of vinegar, fed the garbage disposal orange peels, lit matches...all to no avail. Just out of curiosity, is this a good excuse for chucking our prehistoric dishwasher and buying new?

Never again assume that your children really are just going to great lengths to get their teeth sparkling clean when they are still in the bathroom ten minutes after leaving them to their morning routine. That peace and quiet you take for diligent brushing could actually be their speechless awe and wonder as they pull out every last item in the over-the-sink cabinet. Guess I won't be flossing again until I find another good sale on dental floss...

Markers and children do not mix, plain and simple. It does not matter how "washable" the markers claim to be. Red ink will wash out of a child's ear but is it really worth the opportunity cost of thirty minutes from your day?

I am still learning.

Muffin Tops and Baby Bumps

2011-03-13T14:42:00.003-05:00

Everyone I was waiting to tell our news to knows now, so I can stop hiding my secret and blab about it on here. Here it is: I will soon develop a baby bump.

I would post a photo but, at this point, it would be difficult to distinguish the difference between my waistline muffin top and the baby bump. Or rather, what will become a baby bump soon enough. Right now, there is a baby in there somewhere beneath a few layers of belly fat.

Late September, possibly early October, will mark the end of our equally gender-divided family. Well, unless I have fraternal twins made up of a boy and a girl.

So what do you get when you cross seafood, Bloody Marys, and fresh fruit? You have my ultimate cravings with this pregnancy, which frustrate me to no end. I refuse to eat fish of any kind because of the possible mercury content. Alcohol is obviously not a wise choice for drinking at this time. And although I can eat fresh fruit to my heart's content, it makes me feel like I have to spend extended periods of time reading magazines in the bathroom, if you catch my drift (Ha! No pun intended, of course!).

Rules of the Tent

2011-03-08T06:56:00.004-06:00

Yesterday, Reiss and his new therapists built a monster-sized tent fort in his room constructed from blankets, beanbag chairs, and aluminum-framed kids papasan chairs. Reiss loved it so much, he asked if he could keep it up and sleep in there last night. And that is exactly what he did.

Of course no fort would be complete without rules so Reiss and his cohorts drew up a list. These make me laugh out loud:

1. No stepping on the roof.

2. No licking the wand. (Referring to the princess wands Milla brought to the project.)

3. No sitting on beanbags.

4. No running.

5. No stepping on the chair.

6. No knocking down the (Lego) tower.

7. No taking the blankets off.

8. No pushing the chair.

9. Do not tell anyone the password (which was "blah blah." Oops...I told the password.). Only friends.

10. No banging the wand on the floor.

Those ten rules completed the list yesterday but after playing in the tent for a little while this morning, Reiss and Milla felt they needed to added an eleventh rule.

11. No tearing down the chimney in the tent.

This last one may prove itself to be a difficult rule to follow, especially considering I have no idea where the chimney is located inside the tent.

Because We Are Wild Like That....

2011-03-06T02:06:00.006-06:00

Friday night was date night for James and me. We started the evening off by dropping the kids into some very trustworthy hands and were pleasantly surprised when Milla happily waved good-bye to us and ran off to play with Reiss. Seeing this was quite a change from the norm, as our date nights typically begin with a sobbing mess - Milla, not James or me.

For the most part, our date night plans generally consist of no actual plan at all. There is rarely any forethought put into what we will do for the evening and James and I are very much creatures of habit. So it was no surprise when, as soon as we had gotten into the car and shut the doors, James declared, "I don't know. You decide." As in, we both knew part of the evening's activities would consist of going to eat dinner somewhere but he did not want to be the one to decide specifically where we would end up.

Our first stop was a relatively new non-franchise type pizza place near our home whose specialty is gourmet pizzas. Although still right in the middle of things, the location is rather off the beaten path. Past restaurant businesses that have resided in the same building never tended to stay in business very long and I do not know whether it was the location or the food itself that played a more impacting role in their demise. I have a feeling I know which was the case for one particular restaurant that was housed there a few years ago. Suffice it to say that we only ate there one time.

At any rate, given the history of restaurants housed there in the past, we thought we would be able to get in and get seated immediately. Wrong. Well, not necessarily wrong. We may have been able to get in and seated immediately but we didn't even get to find out, as the parking lot was so packed there wasn't a single space to be found.

On to the next place. And again, as creatures of habit, driving around, wasting gas, and being indecisive as to where we shall eat is usually part of date night for us.

Next stop was a Chinese restaurant we ate at several years ago and thought the food was disgusting. Over the years though, we have continued hearing how great this place is whenever conversations with friends wander to the subject of local restaurants. We have been reluctant to give the place another try but figured we might as well.

James ordered Szechuan Chicken and I had their Curry Chicken. Before our food arrived, James thought sure the portions would be too small and we would leave the place with only half-full bellies and empty pockets. I reassured him that he would certainly not starve by reminding him that Dunkin' Donuts is just across the street.

Our server brought our food to us and even James mentioned that we probably could have shared an entree. This, coming from someone who doesn't bat an eye at eating an entire pizza if given the chance. Both meals were slightly spicy but still only on that level of spiciness that makes one aware that the spice is there, yet does not create a feeling of inferno mouth. We enjoyed what we could eat of our meals and left soon afterwards with our pockets only $24 (including tip) poorer. Not bad for a great sit-down meal.

Although quite full from the Chinese food, it just wouldn't have been right to drive past Dunkin' Donuts so we stopped and got a donut. Okay, it was actually six donuts. But we didn't eat them all right then.

As date nights tend to go for us, after catching a bite to eat we usually run some errands or browse a bookstore. Our first errand was to Goodwill to look for dinosaurs for Reiss - because we get wild like that on date nights.

Reiss is on a dinosaur kick right now and buying him a few brand new plastic dinosaurs seems absolutely ridiculous when the retail stores want eight bucks for a four-inch piece of plastic imported straight from China and probably containing who knows how much lead paint. So the search was on for less expensive plastic dinosaurs imported straight from China.

Judging from prices of plastic dinos being sold on Ebay and the availability (or lack thereof) of them at Goodwill, I have come to think these things must be a pretty hot commodity. We did not find a single plastic dinosaur like what we were looking for but, for $2.99, we did purchase a battery-operated T-Rex that roars and moves its head around while its eyes light up. Apparently, the person who donated it to Goodwill is not as frugal as I am when making donations because we were lucky enough to not have to put batteries in Mr. T-Rex in order for him to work properly. Milla's consolation gift was a $.99 plastic horse.

At another Goodwill store closer to where we needed to pick up the kids, we also found an Elefun game for $3.99 and a pair of jeans for Reiss. He has a closet full of excellent quality Gymboree clothes, including several pairs of jeans, but for some reason prefers worn out, on their last leg, jeans from Goodwill.

After the second Goodwill visit, it was pouring down rain and getting close to the time when we needed to go pick up Reiss and Milla so that is what we did. We went to get the kids and another crazy date night was done for us. The kids loved the toys and we played Elefun several times on Saturday. I am still in awe of the imagination of someone who would invent a game where an elephant shoots butterflies out of its trunk.

Freedom!!!

2011-03-03T19:45:00.006-06:00

I've got a feelin'...
That tomorrow's gonna be a good, good da-a-ay......woohooo!
(Anyone else out there a Peas fan too?)

Remember a few weeks back when I mentioned a BIG change we had coming our way?

Originally, I had not planned to spill the beans until this coming weekend but due to an unexpected turn of events, I have the freedom to go ahead and reveal the big surprise. Do not get too worked up - it is really only a big change for my family and not something others will find much excitement in knowing.

Are you ready?

(Drumroll...)

We are changing providers for Reiss's in-home ABA (applied behavior analysis) therapy program!

See, I warned you. Not terribly exciting, right? However, considering the intensity and numerous hours of ABA therapy Reiss puts in on a weekly basis, it is a big change for our family and one we are certainly looking forward to making.

The decision to change providers was not an easy one to make. Actually, the decision to change providers began not at all as a quest to find another provider but rather, as a mission to simply research other options in our area for in-home ABA and ABA centers should we decide to make a change in the future. After a series of events occurred and subsequent tension began to build between ourselves and our current provider, we felt it was best to really dig in and do our homework regarding looking into the other options we found available to us. There was the unfortunate tension building, but at that point, our efforts were still only meant to provide us with options in the event of a "what if" situation were to happen.

A funny thing happened along the way though, and once we began looking into several other options, including one center and three in-home providers, we became quite impressed with one particular provider who services our area. The more we talked with her, the more confident we felt that she was was a great option to go with now and not just to use later as a "just in case" option. It felt right and it felt like a change now was in our best interest after all. She was very open and honest with everything we asked of her. She made no qualms about meeting with me on two occasions. She did not skip a beat when asked to provide references of other families with whom she works. I, personally, checked each of her references not once or twice, but four separate times, calling them back whenever we thought of something else we would like to ask.

Tomorrow morning I will meet with our new provider and the two therapists she has hired to work with Reiss. I stress the number because our current provider has four therapists working with Reiss. At one time, we had six therapists working with him for a total of only thirty-five hours per week. At our best, we had three therapists. The unusually high number of therapists has always presented me with a level of frustration, as I knew from speaking with other parents whose children receive ABA through other providers that they typically had two therapists, and a maximum of three therapists for a full forty-hour week of therapy. If your own child receives ABA or has in the past, I would love your input as to the number of therapists you have/had and whether or not you feel more is better or less is best.

Next Monday, Reiss will meet his new therapists and begin therapy and a whole new fresh start. I am so excited for him and I am excited for my family, as it feels like we are about to embark on a totally new journey. I feel free and like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

It is almost as though the dreary and cloudy bitterness of winter has dissipated and the sun is shining and Spring has arrived. Well, until I remember that it will probably be around 30 degrees when I wake up tomorrow morning. But I'm on this high, so who cares if there is frost on the windows and the furnace continues to run non-stop for the next few weeks?

And now it's official. My high has caused me to babble meaninglessly about frosty windows and other nonsense. So I will leave with that.

To be continued...

A Reminder of the Prevalence of Autism

2011-03-01T15:48:00.004-06:00

Today was the best, if not the strangest, afternoon I can remember having in quite awhile. It was a great day but with the number of other autism moms I saw today (amongst only a few moms total), it also served as a reminder of the prevalence of autism.

First, we started off by going to the dentist. Both kids behaved fairly well. That is, if you don't count the timeout Reiss got for banging on the side of the aquarium in the dentist's waiting room. It was not very hard but certainly hard enough to scare the bejeezus out of any fish unfortunate enough to call the tank their home.

In the waiting room, it was nice to recognize and talk with another autism mom whose children used to go to the same physical therapy office where my children went. Her boys' appointments coincided with my kids' appointments and we used to chat each week. Our insurance allotment of appointments ran out mid-year last year and I kinda lost touch with the mom, other than the occasional passing of one another on Facebook.

Our visit to the dentist's office reminded me once again of my spectacular memory, or rather, the lack of it. The dentist found a somewhat large cavity in one of Milla's teeth but it was nothing new to me. He told me about it on the last visit but I forgot to make an appointment to have it fixed. It was only after the dentist examined Milla on this appointment that I remembered that she had a small cavity. That small cavity is no longer small.

When Milla was finished with her exam and had picked out her Princess and the Frog toothbrush, her ABA therapist took her to her social skills group. Cavity-free Reiss and I then left and headed to the Y.

At the Y, I hadn't even taken my coat off when I saw there was another autism mom I know. This one I knew from her son and Reiss being in the same developmental preschool. We started talking, or maybe venting is a better word for it. We both feel lost about where to send our children for kindergarten next year. Another mom heard us talking and came over and joined in our conversation.

Thank goodness for eavesdroppers, especially when they are other autsim moms!

I felt especially fortunate for this other mom listening to our conversation because when she joined us, I learned that she is not only in my school district but, with a son who is ten years old, is also experienced in dealing with my school district's ways - two traits that I have found particularly difficult to find simultaneously occurring with other autism parents I meet. We hit it off immediately and an added bonus is that she has a daughter Milla's age. We exchanged phone numbers and I am excited at the prospect of having a new playmate for Milla.

As if all that excitement was not enough for one afternoon, another mom I have seen at the Y on occasion came over and spoke to us. She has two nephews with autism. We talked for awhile and she offered that her nephews recently went gluten-free and have shown amazing improvements.

While all this was going on Reiss played and played and played for nearly two hours straight with minimal intervention on my part. He played so wonderfully that I doubt anyone realized Reiss is just a little different than other children. Had it not been for seeing so many other autism moms, I may have even felt like any other parent just having an afternoon out at the Y. I think, just maybe, I may have even relaxed a little bit....

What a Fabulous Friday!

2011-02-25T23:22:00.003-06:00

Dr. Robert Sears a.k.a Dr. Bob (left), yours truly (center), and James (right)

Fridays do not get better than this! James and I spent an evening listening to Dr. Bob Sears speak on autism and treating its effects with a biomedical approach. As part of his book tour for The Autism Book, Dr. Bob spoke at the Indiana University School of Law. We were fortunate enough to get to go and listen to his expertise on everything autism.

Over the years, I have been in the presence of celebrities on a few occasions but none of them ever had the same effect on me as Dr. Bob did this evening. Regarding other celebrities, I always just figured "Well, they're people just like me." But with Dr. Bob, I was downright giddy and was not shy about having a photo taken of him with James and me.

It was such a fabulous evening! Definitely one I will never forget....

Miss the Bliss

2011-02-22T15:41:00.007-06:00

Yesterday evening I went to my local TACA chapter's Coffee Talk meeting. Coffee Talk is, essentially, mommy therapy for autism moms, although an occasional dad shows up. It is a less formal, unstructured version of our regular TACA meetings; a time for talking about anything autism-related and everything else under the sun.

There were only four of us, including myself and three other moms. Somehow along the way we got on the topic of how autism affects every aspect of the lives of a family who has a member with autism.

I remember not long after my son was diagnosed, my father had become increasingly aggravated with me and told me it was because we (my family) had become so involved with autism that our entire lives revolved around it - as if we could just choose to separate ourselves from autism but instead made a conscious choice not to do so. Wouldn't it be great if it really was that simple?

Having only been into this journey for a short time when my father told me that, I did not know that my response should have been, "Yes, you are exactly right! Our lives do revolve around autism because autism has made itself a part of every single aspect of our lives."

No matter how much I would love to separate autism from our lives, it is there. It is always present and always finds a way to creep itself into every little detail of our lives.

Parents of typical children wake their children in the morning. In my house, my husband and I may be awakened at any hour of the night by our children who do not sleep well. Children with autism generally have an imbalance of seratonin and lack the ability to produce sufficient levels of melatonin - two hormones that, when out of balance, make for very poor sleep.

Parents of typical children give their children breakfast. My husband and I give our children a gluten-free, casein-free (GFCF) breakfast and more vitamin and mineral supplements than most professional athletes take. My children are full of metals and have gastrointestinal problems that cause them to have low levels of essential nutrients in their body or the ability to process foods properly in order to acquire those nutrients. The GFCF foods they eat help to heal their gastro issues and the supplements provide the nutrients they need where their bodies fail to obtain them through food.

Parents of typical children send their children off to school and bid them a nice day. My child goes to a private school with a full-time aide provided by our insurance because our public school system refused to give him an aide or allow our aide in school with him. They also refused to put necessary safety measures in place to ensure my child's safety without an aide.

Parents of typical children set up playdates for their children. My children attend a social group where they are integrated with neurotypical peers. Finding a playdate for a child with autism involves a monumental search equivalent to finding an ice cube in the desert. No, that's not right. Finding a playdate for a child with autism is not that difficult. The difficulty is in finding a lasting playmate for a child with autism.

Parents of typical children put their children in sports and activities like soccer and dance. My children take swimming lessons specifically for children with special needs so that they can receive one-on-one instruction.

Parents of typical children think nothing of sending cupcakes or cookies to school with their child for his or her birthday. When this happens, if I don't know in advance, my child is left out because he cannot eat the birthday goodies. How's that for "inclusion?" I did not choose to have my child on a special diet - his physical needs made that choice for us.

Parents of typical children think nothing of packing the kids in the car and taking off for a round of errands. For my husband and me, there is no such thing as a "round" of errands. If we can make it to two places with minimal problems and tantrums, we feel lucky.

Parents of typical children hire a babysitter for an evening and have a lovely evening out on the town for date night. My husband and I pay twice the amount for a babysitter as what typical parents pay and then we go out for a few hours with the hope that our son's next seizure will not occur on our caregiver's watch.

Parents of typical children take their children to the park or the library or a family outing and then relax or read a book or mingle with relatives while their children play. I have never been able to relax at a park for fear of my child bolting from the scene (children with autism are notorious escape artists) or injuring himself on the playground equipment because of his poor muscle tone caused by his autism and its internal workings or because he is having a tantrum for one reason or another. I have never read a book while my children play at the library, again, for fear that my child may bolt from the scene. I have mingled with relatives at family outings but only because my husband was overseeing the care of our children at the time.

This is what I mean by missing the bliss that other parents are fortunate enough to have. Actually, I do not miss it, as that would imply that I had it at one time. I have never had that peaceful bliss of just letting my children exist and play and live carefree lives. That bliss was ripped away from me just the same as a small piece of hope for my children to lead independent adult lives was ripped from them when they developed autism.

I have no point here, really. At this point, I am so over autism and while both of my children have made great strides towards blending better with their peers, autism still makes its presence very well-known on a daily basis. I grieve the loss of that carefree life I see so many parents around me living every single day.

Definition of an Opportunist:

2011-02-15T16:02:00.003-06:00

A parent who decides that the best time to trim her child's fingernails is during the moments after the child has had a seizure, when he has fallen into the inevitable deep slumber that follows such a fatiguing neurological episode.

Just turning lemons into lemonade here...

Where Have I Been?

2011-02-06T01:02:00.011-06:00

That title reminds me of the Dr. Seuss book, Oh, the Places You'll Go!

Well, where have I been? That's a good question! I have been a bad mommy blogger and have all but totally neglected this little piece of my world for around two months now.

Just like a lot of other folks, one of my excuses for absenteeism is the busy-ness of the holidays. My other excuse? Stress.

During the month of December, Reiss had three seizures and a fourth episode that can only be described as what looked like a seizure trying to happen. I say "trying" because Reiss is on anti-seizure medication and the symptoms he displayed during that particular episode appeared the same as his symptoms at the beginning of any other seizure (look of extreme fatigue, unresponsiveness, but still conscious) but he did not progress any further to some of the more extreme symptoms such as his eyes being fixed to one side or convulsing. Instead, he got a little bit spacey, told me he wanted to lie down and then, he simply fell asleep...for nearly six hours straight! And that was right after he had gotten up for the morning and eaten breakfast.

That was not all. We also had the return of Reiss's persistently bloody nose. We think we have that one figured out though. We added a zinc supplement back into his regimen, which he had been lacking for a few weeks because we had run out and we were not sure how much of a difference it was making. Once that was added back in, the incidents of Reiss having a bloody nose on a daily basis disappeared immediately and he has not had one since then.

So that was our December. As if December, with its holidays and preparations and special events, does not already present itself with enough stresses and frustrations without the addition of daily bloody noses and the riddling of seizures here and there.

On a happier front, we did have our share of holiday good times...

Above is a photo of Reiss and Milla decorating Christmas cookies (GFCF, of course!) at the house of our good friends, Matt and Staci. Staci is a registered dietician and is very familiar with the restrictions of the diet we follow in our house. They invited us over for cookie decorating and Staci so generously accommodated our needs by making cookies Reiss and Milla can eat.

It would not have been Christmas had we not gone out on a few occasions to check out decorations in several different neighborhoods. I read about the decorations of the house above in an Indy Star newspaper article featuring the best light displays around town. Granted, it's not really very Christmas-y in nature, but living in Indianapolis and being Colts fans, it was indeed cool to see.

On December 21st, Reiss achieved quite an accomplishment for any five-year-old. One of his ABA therapists made him the award pictured above. It has been hanging on the wall since that day and Reiss has counted to 1000 many times since then as well.

This is the only photo we have of both children on Christmas day because, not long after this was taken, Reiss had a seizure. No, the poor little guy could not catch a break even on Christmas Day.

I think this photo (taken the day after Christmas at my dad's house) of Milla looking at me makes her look so sweet. Please don't look at my big, pointy nose or double chin.

Milla was quite the little helper with Reiss's gift. As a matter of fact, she was so helpful that day that she opened most of my gifts while at my dad's house and I had no idea of what I received until we got home and got everything unloaded and unpacked. I still have no clue who gave me which gift.

That just about covers our holiday season. Yes, I am quite late to the punch, I know.

January has been snow and appointments and school cancellations and exercising and weight loss and oh yeah, did I mention that I have lost nine pounds since the beginning of the year?

I do not mean to brag but I have remained extremely dedicated and focused on losing this weight...again. At least I did not let it get really out of hand before tightening the reigns again. In the past I have been - how shall I say this? More tolerant of my own weight gain before getting it back under control. I was fat. There, I said it. In the past, I have let myself get to what doctors categorize as being obese. Personally, the image of obesity that comes to mind for me is someone who is so morbidly overweight that s/he can barely walk. But for the record, "obese" in medical terms generally means a BMI of more than 30 and/or being more than 20% overweight. This time around, I met neither of those requirements, thank goodness.

Weight loss is not the only change that is coming in our household. We have another BIG change coming soon. BUT I cannot tell about it on here just yet. It is a secret. Stay tuned...

B.R.A.T: It Is Not What You Think

2011-01-18T15:50:00.014-06:00

Several weeks ago, I was giddy with excitement after having just received a goody box full of B.R.A.T. Organic Feel Better Drinks for my kids to take for a test drive. When I spoke with the owner of the company, who also happens to be a Facebook friend of mine, we agreed upon a review on my part in exchange for a free sample on her part. I had no idea her version of a "sample" would include all four flavors of the B.R.A.T. product.

Seriously, during my blogging days, I have agreed to plug for quite a number of companies whose interpretation of the words "sample our products" ended up being a single-sized serving or less of only one variety of their product amongst a line filled with many varieties. I am not one to complain when something is given to me for free, but when I agree to a review, I am not really getting the product for free, now am I? So when I agree to take the time to try a company's product and write about it, I expect a bit more than what the lady at the grocery store hands out on Sunday afternoons. How many companies are generous enough to send their entire product line?

If you are not familiar with the B.R.A.T. drinks or the more commonly known "BRAT diet" prescribed by doctors far and wide for upset stomach, then you may be wondering why anyone would give their child a product called B.R.A.T. or subscribe to the philosophy of a diet that seemingly might turn a little tyke into an obnoxious, out-of-control, spoiled...brat. Furthermore, if you are not familiar with the BRAT diet, it is likely you have never been sick since this go-to remedy is the catch-all advice from doctor to patient. For the rest of us, we know when our doctors prescribe such a diet that he or she is recommending bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast.

But let's say you or your little one is not feeling 100% and eating is out of the question for whatever reason. I had not planned on being graphic, but let's just say all the plumbing is getting a fierce workout, where do you turn for nutritional replenishment? The human body still needs incoming nutrients and electrolytes and unless your definition of good nutrition includes consuming artificial flavors, dyes, sweeteners, and preservatives, it is best to skip the Pedialyte.

Enter B.R.A.T. drinks - the Bananas, Rice, and Applesauce Tummy Soother

Nope, no toast in these drinks!

B.R.A.T. drinks:

Come in four flavors: Original (kinda fruity), Vanilla, Cinnamon Toast, and Chocolate Honey.
Are USDA Organic! Who doesn't love that??
Have vitamins and calcium.
Are free of the eight most common allergens, which is especially important to many people in the autism community and those people, in general, who have severe allergies.
Taste great! And after all, a product can have all the nutrients in the world but if a parent cannot get it into their child's body, it is worthless - Right??

My family loved the B.R.A.T. drinks. My kids' favorite flavors were the Cinnamon Toast and Chocolate Honey. It is, however, difficult to say which they liked more, as their only responses during our taste tests were "Yummy!" and "More, please!" The Vanilla and Original flavors were well-liked too, but kids just go for chocolate. Or, at least, mine do.

B.R.A.T. drinks can be found at several supermarket chains nationwide. If you cannot find this product locally, I recommend speaking to the manager of your favorite health food store or wherever you shop frequently. If they are not willing to stock B.R.A.T. for you (find somewhere else to shop!), B.R.A.T. drinks can also be purchased on Amazon.

To your health! And that of your ~~brat~~ child - stay healthy with B.R.A.T.!

A New Twist On "Jingle Bells"

2010-12-26T17:45:00.003-06:00

"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.
Oh, what farm it is to ride in an o-o-open sleigh!
Hey!"

Just Some Random Recent Pics

2010-12-02T22:21:00.010-06:00

Reiss and Milla having fun with the child-size basketball goal at my dad's house on Thanksgiving...

Just plain silliness...

Milla helping me clip coupons one Sunday afternoon...

A meatball recipe I worked hard to develop and now cannot find where I put the recipe. They will probably never be made the same way again. And they were really yummy too...

Happy Thanksgiving!

2010-11-25T19:54:00.004-06:00

My family's take on the Glutenista's fruit turkey...Hope you and yours have a
Happy and Healthy Thanksgiving!

Pigging Out to "Princess Loser"

2010-11-23T22:39:00.005-06:00

This evening at dinner in the sweetest imaginable voice ever, Milla told me, "Mommy, I want to watch "Princess Loser" with you tonight."

It is presumably obvious to most that what she really meant was she wanted to watch Biggest Loser with me. I can only imagine as to how she came to this association but my guess is somewhere along the way in her three-year-old mind she married her princess obsession and her love of Mommy & Me couch time and gave birth to "Princess Loser," which is almost certainly nothing like what it sounds.

All of it was, undoubtedly, too cute for words.

At 8:00, we sat down and tuned in and, as is always the case when I watch Biggest Loser, the junk food cravings began.

There was a time when I actually believed most of America sat perfectly postured, watching Biggest Loser, with a bottle of water and on the edge of their couches, listening intently to Bob and Jillian advise and verbally assault the show's contestants. And then, very slowly, I began a process of waking up as I watched my friends' Facebook posts.

I began to see that my husband and I are not only not the exception with our open potato chip bags and homemade muffins and assorted other goodies that grace our Tuesday evening Biggest Loser tv-watching sessions, but rather, we are the rule. And that is ironic. With children with autism and the never-ending unpredictability we face, we are almost never "the rule." Usually, we set a precedent for being the exception to the rule.

This evening's Biggest Loser buffet consisted of buffalo chicken snack rolls, mint Oreo's, and mint M&M's. Good stuff. I am sure Bob and Jillian would be disgusted beyond belief.

Anyone who knows me, knows how I love a good case of irony.

My family's life is full of irony on a daily basis. Sometimes the irony is good. Sometimes it is the kind of bad that angers me to no end. With all the irony constantly going on, I also crave normalcy like nothing else. How funny is it that I finally get to feel just a teensy bit "normal" because I sit, pigging out, on Tuesday evenings right along with millions of other Americans while we all watch a show about extreme weight loss?

That is irony. The good kind.

Who Has Time for Boredom?

2010-11-21T22:36:00.008-06:00

Really, I cannot even begin to comprehend how anyone can ever be bored. Yet, almost daily, this friend or that one on Facebook will post a status update either straightforwardly declaring such boredom or implying such with the indecisiveness of which activity to take on at any particular moment. I guess that is only one difference between myself and some of my Facebook friends: Some people use Facebook as a form of escape from boredom. I use it as a form of escape from my endless to-do list.

Right now, I am using my blog to escape my to-do list. And since I have little to write about, I will bore others with the details of my to-do list.

On my to-do list for this week, I need to.....

Tie up any loose ends for people on my family's Christmas gift list. It used to be for a long time that I was really great about having all our gifts purchased before Thanksgiving. That was B.C. (Before Children) This year has been a year of change though, and I am vowing to have that shopping done before Thanksgiving again. Unless absolutely necessary, I detest setting foot in stores between Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Get all our goodies together for Thanksgiving, Rounds 2 & 3. Round 1 came yesterday evening when we had James' mother over for dinner. It was supposed to be Thanksgiving but we had roast. I thought I was receiving a fresh organic turkey from our produce delivery service this past Friday. I was going to receive it on Friday, prep it that evening, and then roast it all day on Saturday. Much to my surprise, our turkey arrived Friday afternoon rock solid. It is now resting in the garage refrigerator and - by my estimations and according to Google - will be just about ready for roasting on......Wednesday. Round 2 of Thanksgiving will be Wednesday and Round 3 will be on, you guessed it, Thanksgiving.

Clean out my SUV. Who am I kidding? This has been on my to-do list for months. I did go get the oil changed on Wednesday. That's progress, right? Even if I did only do so for the few moments of peace and the Starbucks self-serve machine at the dealership...

Tackle the paper monster that grows and shrinks and grows and shrinks on my desk. On a positive note, it does indeed have a home on the desk now, rather than the kitchen counter where, until recently, it resided for several months.

Call the phone company to disconnect all the added features on our home phone. Now that I have finally ditched my dinophone and entered the new millenium with my iPhone, who needs all the extras on a home phone? I know we don't. Anyone who really needs to get in touch with us has my cell phone number.

Clean out some of these toys around here. Some will go to the second-hand store. Others will go straight to Goodwill. I would really love to just give them to someone whose children could use them instead of take them to Goodwill where they will invariably be marked with prices that are way too high. Alas, I know no one who wants to take a bunch of this-n-that toys off our hands and finding a family with a true need would only add to my to-do list. Does that make me horrible for admitting I plan on taking the easy way out by making a drop at Goodwill?

Look into a research program I read about that provides children with autism an opportunity for socialization. Reiss is part of a social group already but this program is one that would provide him with socialization amongst children he has never met.

Enough of my to-do list. Just thinking about it and writing it all down wears me out.

If you are still reading, surely you are bored. Go on, now - head on over to Facebook and let all your friends know how bored you are.

Today Was EGG YACK Day

2010-11-12T18:22:00.006-06:00

Do you ever start planning out your day and then realize there is no way you are going to remember everything you need to do, much less actually do it all? That describes me to a T (or is it tee?), so I am all about lists.

I have my calendar and I write lists of things on each of the days. I have my iPhone and I make lists on my list app. I have a small spiral notebook on the kitchen counter in which I write things that need to be done as I think of them. I have my grocery list. And then there is the health food store list, for things I cannot get at the regular grocery. Perhaps I should consider making a list of all my lists.

This morning, while walking on the treadmill, thoughts of "I need to ____ today" kept popping into my head. As I kept adding things, one by one, I just knew many of them would escape my memory before I even set foot back onto the carpet and could make my way to a piece of paper to actually write them all down. At that point, I began to make a word from the first letters of the keywords of the things I needed to do. There is a name for this practice, but alas, the name for it escapes me. Imagine that.

What I finally ended up with was that today was EGG YACK day. I can't make this stuff up - it really was EGG YACK day because here is what made up my to-do list for the day:

E - Call my gynie, whose last name begins with "E."
G - Place our Green Bean Delivery order for next week's delivery. This is our organic produce home-delivery service.
G - Take some items out to the garbage that I had forgotten to put in the cans before James took them out this morning.

Y - Call the YMCA regarding one of the programs we are interested in signing up Reiss for very soon.
A - Call Amy, who is the assistant to the woman who is in charge of our ABA programs.
C - Email my friend, Chris, about a toy I told her weeks ago she could have and that I have yet to give to her.
K - Check the Flylady website to see what today's Kelly's Mission was so that I could do it, you know, in all my spare time. To my pleasant surprise, I had miraculously already done today's mission just before getting on the treadmill. Yay me! I didn't let myself off the hook that easily though, and decided to see what yesterday's mission was, as I had not done so yesterday.

So there you have it. Today was EGG YACK day and eleven hours later, I still need to do K. Technically, just yesterday's K.

Feel the Love!

2010-11-11T21:32:00.005-06:00

Halloween Haircuts

2010-11-02T20:59:00.005-05:00

Not sure why I never got Milla some bangs much sooner than I did...

Yes, that's right, my son can touch his nose with his tongue...and he does it quite often - too often.

Just a Bunch of Pics

2010-10-29T20:00:00.005-05:00

Reiss preparing to wrap Milla's birthday gift in wedding shower wrapping paper. (Because we're fancy like that!)

Milla trying on her new Tinkerbell costume she received as a birthday gift.

Sassy!!!

Reiss getting into one of Milla's gift bags...

Notice the legs coming out of the bottom of the bag?

Birthday cake!!!

This is what a sixty-nine-year-old man (my dad) looks like jumping on a trampoline.

Reiss trying on his chef's costume for Halloween that I have not been able to get him to wear to either of the two costume parties we have gone to this week. Thank goodness, the tags are still on it....bwahahahaha!

Milla in her peacock princess costume...

We went to a Halloween dress-up/family fun night this evening at the preschool where Milla goes a few mornings per week. Here, Reiss is high-five-ing one of the teachers in Milla's classroom.

LOVE this photo! Reiss, Milla, and Christina, Milla's lead teacher in her preschool classroom.

Princess Milla Turns 3!!!

2010-10-22T08:26:00.006-05:00

Today is Milla's birthday!
She has been looking forward to this day for weeks now, begging to wear her "Birthday Girl" cupcake t-shirt.

Here she is showing off her birthday gift from Reiss: a pink paper heart that he cut all by himself.
This may seem like a minor gift to the untrained eye but Milla loves it and it is of especially high value since it is the heart Reiss cut out to "master" hearts in his ABA cutting program. After finishing his cutting yesterday, Reiss was so proud of himself he decided to wrap up his own heart and give it to Milla this morning on her birthday.

(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

2010-10-13T19:13:00.006-05:00

It always seemed to me that Milla appears in this photo like she is thinking, "Mommy, you are so weird looking!"

Gluten-Free, Dairy-Free Vegetarian Silly Burgers

2010-10-12T17:48:00.008-05:00

Silly Burger dressed with fresh cilantro, salsa, and halved cherry tomatoes.

This recipe is very loosely based on a recipe by Paula Deen called Black Eyed Pea Cakes.

While I would never accuse the charmingly southern-accented Ms. Deen of developing a bland recipe, I did, however, feel when I first tried her black eyed pea cake recipe that I could improve upon it in a way that creates an end product that is not only healthier but more flavorful.

Somewhere in my blood an ethnicity that is drawn to cilantro and cumin apparently exists and, for that reason, I will add one or both of them to nearly anything in the kitchen. For my children, foods need only be called burgers or fries and they come running. As a family, we also eat a diet free of gluten and dairy products. My recipe for Silly Burgers meets all our culinary tastes and dietary needs.

Silly Burgers - Approx. 10 "burger" patties
3 cups cooked black eyed peas, drained well
1.5 cups grated zucchini (approx. 1 average-sized zucchini)
1 cup diced onion
1 cup diced roasted red peppers
1 egg (for vegan option, leave out and add 2 T. GF flour)
1/4 cup GF flour
1 clove garlic, minced
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon sea salt
Oil for pan

Optional garnish:
Fresh cilantro, diced
Your favorite brand of salsa or make your own fresh
Cherry tomatoes, halved

Heat oil over low-medium heat. With a potato masher, mash the black eyed peas. Add all other ingredients minus the oil. Mix well and spoon out into skillet, flattening slightly to make patties. Cook until golden on both sides. Garnish and eat with a fork or serve on a bun as a burger. Enjoy!

And yes, my kids really do eat these and come back for seconds!

For This, I Will One Day Pay Very Dearly...

2010-10-10T22:18:00.008-05:00

(But for now it serves as pretty darn good blog material!)

This is Tomato Man.

Tomato Man is mysterious. His mission is unrevealed. His origins are unknown - even to us, his family.

Tomato Man only recently began appearing in our lives - always unexpectedly and never without his tighty whities adorning his head and oversized sunglasses gracing his face to mask his true identity.

Rock on, Tomato Man!

Apparently, I Am Older Than God

2010-10-09T10:12:00.005-05:00

Or so Reiss thinks, anyway.

All this week, Reiss has been asking me questions about elephants:

"Is an elephant bigger than Kong?"

"Would an elephant eat as much as you weigh, Mommy?"

"What would an elephant do with it saw a mouse?" This is not a typo. Reiss almost always uses the word "with" when he means to say "if."

"Do you weigh as much as an elephant, Mommy?" I am terrified he may ask this to someone out in public, and as my luck would have it, it will invariably be directed at someone who is rather large.

Reiss has been asking questions about God for a couple of weeks now as well. This generally happens right after he has watched a few minutes of a Veggie Tales dvd but has occurred at random, out of the blue, times too. For instance, I picked him up from his social skills playgroup one afternoon and he asked, "Is God higher than the sky?"

I had to quash my urge to laugh and reply with "Well, I hope God is not high at all." That one I kept to myself and instead of telling him the truth - that God is all around us - and encouraging mass confusion and a long series of other difficult-to-answer questions, chose to go with the explanation that no one knows where God is.

This morning we were eating breakfast and Reiss asked, "Is God seventy?" to which, my response was a simple "No."

Reiss thought about this for a moment and then came, "Mommy, did you come before God?"

So now I am trying to decide which is worse: to be older than God (because that is really old!) or to weigh more than an elephant.

Wordless Wednesday

2010-10-06T21:49:00.003-05:00

He Rode A Freakin' Pony!

2010-10-03T14:57:00.006-05:00

Our annual trip to our favorite apple orchard could not wait a single week longer, so today was our day. Partly sunny, no rain, and a bit of a chill in the air made for absolutely perfect weather for such an outing.

Milla, Reiss, and James walking down the gravel lane from where we parked. I may have to have this photo expanded for framing....

Reiss being such a big boy and feeding a goat. Even just this past Spring he was quite hesitant to go anywhere near the animals.

This is where I got my blog title. Yes, I know the title does not sound very nice but I was so ecstatic when Reiss was riding that pony, I was flapping my own arms! By the time he got off it, I was crying tears of joy and squeezing the life out of him, telling him, "Reiss, you did it! You rode a freakin' pony!" People around me almost certainly thought I was nuts but they very likely were not there last year either, when Reiss thought he wanted to ride a pony and got near one only to end up screaming bloody murder. Yaaayyy, Reiss!!! He was so proud of himself too and that, in itself, is reason to be ecstatic.

Milla riding a pony. She looks cute and all but it definitely was not going to top Reiss doing it, and on his own, at that!

Luckily, our computer photo program has a "crop" feature. I told James I am getting him photography lessons for his birthday so he can learn how to take photos that do not show my huge caboose.

Kids....I tell them to look at me and smile and this is what I get. It is cute though...

Reiss climbing Mount Strawverest.

Reiss' proud face, as he calls it, on the train. We were like sardines in that little train car but I was definitely not complaining. Some very nice mommies in front of us had eleven people in their party and let us go our turn before them.

Milla....

And since this is my blog and few posts seem complete without some form of irony, here it is: We came home empty-handed. That's right! Not a single apple to be had - the lines were way too long.

I'm Still Breathing. That's Positive Thinking, Right?

2010-09-30T21:46:00.011-05:00

This day started out fairly awesome this morning but then turned to c-r-a-p by early afternoon. Our morning therapist, Jessica, and I took Reiss and Milla to a playground at a church that welcomes the public. It was a great time but while there I received a call letting me know our afternoon ABA therapist called off. No problem, that just meant we had more freedom to do whatever and go wherever the day took us. Or so I thought.

Being the health nuts that we are now and that we have been in recent years, and I say that with sarcasm because sometimes it would just be so much easier not being so knowledgeable of the different ingredients that go into consumable products on the market today, we do not keep over-the-counter cold remedies or pain relievers on-hand regularly. That's fine if we never get sick or if we never have aches or pains - and we rarely do except for the five week nightmare we experienced recently - or if natural supplements would work 100% effectively when they are taken. However, such as the case may be, despite downing capsule after capsule after pill after pill of Vitamins C, D, and Zinc and who knows what else for the last several days, James has a terrible cold and he asked if I could get him some Dayquil or something similar while I was out and about today. A trip to CVS seemed simple enough.

Before I go any further, let me explain that I really do try to remain positive with regards to outings with Reiss and Milla when I do not have James or a therapist along to help me, but deep down the mere thought of going places with the two of them and the possibilities and the what if's scare the bejeezus out of me. Reiss is a runner. Milla can be a runner. If you do not know what I mean by this, clearly you do not have a child with autism. Many typical children run too. Children with autism run and reeling them in can prove to be quite challenging. I don't really know how to explain why or how it's different when it's a child with autism running away from a parent as opposed to a typical child but that's not what this story is about anyway.

So we went to CVS and as I always do whether or not I have James or a therapist with me or I am by myself with the kids, we talked about The Rules before getting out of the car. I am not some drill sergeant mommy whose children are expected to stay in formation while walking through the grocery. Nor am I a Nazi dictator-type mother who only allows her children to stay crowded together like sardines to keep the order. I do, however, expect my two charges to refrain from running from me and to keep their outdoor voices turned off while out in public. The only other rule is that they are to look with their eyes and not with their hands unless given permission. Today they were told that if any of The Rules were broken, we would leave the store.

One minute into our CVS trip, the wandering from me had already begun. I gave Reiss and Milla a warning. They continued to wander as I tried to find the best deal on some sort of chemical coughing cure with the least amount of yuck in it. I gave them another warning not to run from me and darn it if Reiss did not outsmart me again! He told me, and I quote, "Mommy, it's okay because we're not running away. We're walking."

Really???

I could not decide whether to laugh, cry, or...or...or what. The same statement out of almost any other kid would surely be perceived as sarcasm but since Reiss has no concept of sarcasm and he processes everything in the literal sense, I had no one to blame for his and Milla's wandering but myself. After all, they were not breaking the rules because they were not running away. So I clarified that they were not to run or walk away from the area I was in and they needed to stay one arm's length from me.

Next thing I knew, Reiss and Milla were walking very fast towards the front of the store. I just watched and waited as they walked all the way down the aisle from the pharmacy to the front counter and when they saw me staring with probably the most evil look ever, they came back. When they got to me, I very calmly put the items I was carrying back on the shelves and we proceeded to leave. Or more precisely, I carried Milla screaming and kicking out of the store while Reiss walked with his hand in mine and whining all the way to the car.

All that and we still did not have anything for James and his cold.

Because I really needed to get something for James to take and because I felt Reiss and Milla deserved another chance to prove they could behave in a store, we drove up the street to Walgreens. Once again, we discussed The Rules before getting out of the car. We were in and back out with some cold medicine, cough drops, and Disney princess silly bands in a matter of about fifteen minutes and - dare I venture to say it - without any meltdowns from my children or stares from other shoppers. It was definitely a much different scene from the one at CVS just minutes beforehand.

I would like to say Reiss and Milla were angels inside Walgreens but that would be embellishing their good behaviors. They were pretty well behaved though. Well, if you don't count when Milla grabbed a bottle of fingernail polish and was about to paint Reiss' nails while I had my back turned for maybe all of ten seconds. And yes, I admit that I got roped into buying silly bands that they probably didn't deserve after the behavior they had demonstrated in CVS.

All was well and we all lived happily ever after. That is, until our next errand - to the cable company - where I had to contain myself and refrain from firebombing the place because of their lack of service and where Reiss and Milla danced and played on the floor and stood in the chairs and played with the gumball machine and asked other customers their names and rolled around on the floor being "Colts guys" and at one point, Reiss even locked the door and I just let them do all of it because goodness knows if I had to make them follow The Rules in the cable company's office while trying to stay calm with people who have left a cable running across our yard for close to four months now, I may have gone into cardiac arrest or stopped breathing or some other unintentional bodily destruction and I would not be here now to tell all about it.

Or to take another breath after that unbelievably long run-on sentence.

Edit: 10/01/2010 - Thank you, to a friend of mine who read my blog and so discreetly emailed me to let me know I used the word "wonder" where I should have used the word "wander." How embarassing! Judging by how I spell nowadays, no one would ever guess I won my elementary school's spelling be in the fifth grade and then went on to the county bee only to end up misspelling the word "measles."

Is 10AM Too Early For Wine?

2010-09-28T21:56:00.004-05:00

Slow down, I did not drink any wine at 10am - I am simply curious, you know, for future reference.

We had a challenging start to our morning. Almost every evening we try to clean up the kitchen, ABA/playroom (what most people call a dining room), and the living room, which is actually more of a family room, considering there is a tv in there. It's a goal. It does not mean it always get accomplished. Like last night - the nightly cleanup ritual did not take place last night. Nor did it this evening, but we will deal with that tomorrow morning.

Milla's task this morning was to clean up the zillion pieces of dollhouse furniture she pulled out last night and did not put away.

ABA has taught us a lot about discipline and we sometimes have to switch things up. Our current system uses X's and then a timeout after a certain number of X's received. Milla gets three X's and then gets a timeout. Because Reiss is a big boy and should be more responsible for his actions (and because when he was still receiving three X's he was getting to a point where the system was ineffective and he was asking how many X's he had), he now gets two X's and then a timeout.

An X is given if either child responds inappropriately to a request or refuses to do something asked of him or her. For example, Milla was asked to put away the dollhouse furniture. She sat in the midst of the mess on the floor picking at her toes. Because she did not begin putting away the toys, she received an X. She was asked again, and again, was given an X when she did not begin putting away the toys. This went on several times. Three X's. Timeout. Three X's. Timeout. Finally, after the third or fourth timeout, Milla apparently figured out I was not going to budge and that she might as well put up the dollhouse furniture. And that's exactly what she did. Very quickly, I might add.

After she received her several timeouts and decided to get everything all cleaned up and tidy, I was nearly at the point of taking a bottle of wine and sitting in the corner for a stimming session of my own. However, Milla walked away from the situation with a smile on her face and very compliant from then on. We had a fairly pleasant day and no wine corks were popped.

As I sit here, I see several toys lying on the floor. So who knows, perhaps tomorrow we will have a repeat of this morning and I will end up in that corner. I welcome any input, as it is definitely best to know in advance whether or not wine in the morning is acceptable.

Today Was A Fairy Tale

2010-09-25T20:46:00.010-05:00

Given the exciting adventures many of my friends experience on a near daily basis, my family's activities of today must seem extremely mundane. We had Pancake Saturday, as we always do. James took the kids to the bank. When they returned home, we all did nothing in particular for around an hour or so before having lunch. Following lunch, we met up at a local park we had never visited with some friends and their little boy, who is Reiss' age. From there, we went to James' office and did some top-secret work. Not really, but at this time, I cannot reveal why we went there.

I know, all of it sounds far from adventurous, however, what made today fairy-tale like was the absence of any serious tantrums by either of our children. And if anyone is still questioning what makes that so special, just imagine dealing with tantrums so often that you forget how peaceful a day can be without them.

Today was not the only good day this week either. The entire week has been pretty positive. A funny thing (as in, ironic, not ha-ha "funny") happened this week and I am sure many other parents can totally relate with their own tales of school system inequities.

For quite some time, we have known there is something about Milla that makes her not quite typical like most children her age, but also not possessing severe autistic traits either. She is one of those children who exhibits extremely high levels of intelligence but will also play on her own and purposely separate herself from other children. She craves sameness and has difficulty transitioning from one activity to another. Often times, she will tell us she wants one thing and then throw a tantrum and tell us she wants the opposite. It can go on like this for minutes when I let my guard down and give in to inconsistencies.

Milla has received speech therapy services for nearly two years through our state's early intervention program called First Steps. After voicing some concerns to our intake coordinator earlier this year, Milla was evaluated and began receiving developmental therapy through them as well. In January, Reiss and Milla both began speech and occupational therapies through a private therapy provider.

With everything we have going on, it can be difficult for me to schedule activities for Milla to get socialization time with other children her age. For that reason, she goes to a daycare one day per week, during which time, I can get a few things done that I am otherwise unable to do during the week. When asked, her daycare teachers and assistants admit to knowing there is something different about Milla.

Now for the irony. Tuesday and Wednesday of this week, Milla was evaluated by our local school system to determine her eligibility for services into their developmental preschool program - the same one Reiss attended for one-and-a-half school years. After two mornings of evaluations, the lead member of the evaluating team informed me that she and the team would need to crunch the numbers on paper but that her honest opinion at that time was that Milla would not qualify for services.

On Thursday, Milla had a very different kind of appointment - one with a physician whose specialty is autism. On Thursday, Milla was diagnosed with mild PDD-NOS. For those unaware, that is a form of autism.

So, in other words, our state's early intervention program (who, by the way, has nothing to gain by providing a child with therapy services) feels Milla's developmental delays are enough to warrant providing her with speech and developmental therapies. Private therapists who have evaluated Milla felt her delays were worth providing speech and occupational therapies to her. The people who work with her for around eight hours one day per week, and sometimes two days per week, realize that she is "different" from her peers in her class. And a private physician also diagnosed Milla with PDD-NOS.

Yet, the school feels Milla is moving at full speed ahead right along with her peers and will most likely not provide her with services. Isn't that just typical???

Really??? Lighten Up, People!

2010-09-15T17:09:00.008-05:00

Excuse me while I get a superiority complex for believing that if I can keep a sense of humor after all my family has been through and goes through on a daily basis, then just about anyone should be able to do so as well. Of course, keeping a sense of humor would require that a person have one in the first place.

I won't go into the long, boring details that fueled this latest little rant but suffice it to say that I think people who cannot distinguish humor online either need to stay off the computer or at least ask questions before they get all offended.

Here is the short list of things my family has dealt with over the last several months:

*First, and foremost, having to deal with autism on a daily basis, which is more than any human should be expected to do. And then on top of it, multiply it by two children. No, Milla is not diagnosed.....yet. That will surely follow towards the latter part of this month. (Yeah, we hit the jackpot on that one!)
My reaction? With all the therapies our children require, we are helping to keep people employed. Go autism! We are helping the economy!

*A bathroom remodel that lasted three months, ending with my firing of our contractor, and an incomplete project. Okay, maybe I didn't keep people employed on this one but we did keep him and his crew employed much longer than anyone should have to be employed for a simple bathroom remodel that should have taken two weeks, at most.
My reaction? At least they were out before Thanksgiving!

*Beginning of full-time ABA therapy, resulting in people being in our house five days per week for the majority of our waking hours.
My reaction? Finally, I have a motivating factor for keeping the house in order. It doesn't mean I do though. Hey, I only said I have a motivating factor, not that it actually motivates me.

*A flooded basement due to a busted water heater.
My reaction? Free water heater!!!! The old (relatively speaking, that is, because the old one was only three years old) one was still under warranty.

*Two seizures, one requiring an ambulance ride to the hospital.
My reaction? It was a good thing we didn't get things worked out with the school for Reiss to attend kindergarten. The day the most recent seizure happened would have been his first day of school. How's that for initiating a new teacher into the world of autism and its comorbidities?

*Numerous bouts of vomiting, diarrhea, and bloody noses.
My reaction? Between Reiss and Milla, they were happening fairly close together so I was able to wash the soiled clothes together.

*Endless doctors appointments, lab tests, supplements, medical bills, and newly occurring autism-related ailments appearing just as soon as we clear up a separate ailment.
My reaction? Our incredibly high insurance deductible gets met very early in the year. BONUS! One less thing to worry about during the year.

*Several instances of discrimination towards our child or our family because of our child's autism.
My reaction? We are spared the wonder of how much we need to tell people in regards to our child's autism. They let us know upfront that they are ignorant!

*And today: a flooded basement AGAIN. This time due to a leak where the water comes into the house.
My reaction? Yaaaayyy!!! We get to tear out those hideous bushes in front of the house! Better yet, someone is tearing out the bushes for us. Bonus again! Those backhoe operators tomorrow are not going to give a diddley about those bushes!

Again, that is the short list. It also does not include the stresses of events happening outside our family that directly affect our family.

My point? Is it really that difficult to keep a sense of humor? I figure if I can still laugh when most days I feel like crying and if I can keep a sense of humor while having no access to running water for two days, no shower, and getting the privilege of paying thousands of dollars for having BO, then surely other people should be able to take a joke.

Or, at the very least, laugh now and ask questions later.

This is what happens when you brag...

2010-08-28T21:01:00.003-05:00

It was just a few weeks ago that I was going on and on, telling a friend of mine how my kids almost never get sick. So much for bragging. Here are the events of our household for the last three weekends:

Friday the 13th, Reiss had a seizure during which, he peed on me while I was holding him. Soon thereafter, we gave him his seizure medication (a rectal suppository). He then lost control of his bowels, resulting in the med getting expelled, for lack of a better word. He began to calm down but vomited two times and then began to seize enough to scare me into calling 911. That landed us with a trip to the ER for the morning and early afternoon.

The following Tuesday we received the invoice from the ambulance service and the hospital's invoice the day after that. How's that for compassion? Maybe the insurance company will avenge the transport company and the hospital for their lack of compassion by putting off payment for a month or so. Ha! Probably not. I am horrible, I know, and I do not care. It is hard to feel bad for others not getting paid as promptly as they might like when it involves your child's misfortune.

The Wednesday after the seizure, Reiss began vomiting. That lasted for three days along with explosive diarrhea at around 8PM almost every night. Our carpet is trashed in Reiss's room and ours. The diarrhea continued on into the weekend and early this week too. We feared leaving the house even with a backpack loaded with extra clothes for Reiss - and for Milla too, who still has potty accidents now and then. The one time we did venture out without extra clothing, we were at the Y when Milla peed in her pants and Reiss didn't make it to the bathroom. Sparing the details of that incident, suffice it to say Reiss came out of the bathroom having gone commando.

As we were driving home from picking up some takeout for lunch today, and just when we thought we were through the woods and still holding onto the prospect of a weekend without some sort of bodily fluid turning it sour, Milla transformed my SUV into a puke bucket on wheels. She did not eat lunch and soon afterwards, she and I fell asleep together in the living room chair. It was a refreshing little nap until I woke up with my stomach doing flip-flops too.

James and Reiss came home from buying some marigolds and other odds and ends things from "the green store," a.k.a. Menards. Reiss helped James plant the flowers and then they came in to clean up a bit. Not long after that, Reiss got a bloody faucet nose. Seriously, I really began to wonder if his nose was going to stop pouring blood. Ten minutes later, Milla vomited again.

Our last three weeks, but primarily the weekends, have been nothing but a series of negative bodily functions. Take this as a lesson and learn from my mistake: When you brag on your children's health (or whatever else), it will come back to haunt you. Should you choose to continue bragging anyway, just hope for your sanity that the haunting is not in the form of seizures, vomiting, diarrhea, bloody noses, or getting peed on. I know all of it sounds like a lot of fun, but as I have said before, not everyone can have special kids.

Autism's Latest Victim: Our Carpet

2010-08-24T21:21:00.006-05:00

Autism has claimed its latest victim: our carpet.

If you are a parent who has a child with autism, reading the following will not even phase you. If anything, you will probably finish up here and nod your head in that been-there-done-that kind of way. If, however, you are a parent of a child without autism, consider yourself forewarned that the following may cause you to ruin your own carpet with a bout of vomiting.

Typically, once a child has surpassed the potty-training phase, also gone are the days for most parents when poop is a regular topic of conversation amongst friends. This is not the case with autism parents. Because the poop of children with autism can tell us so much about their bodies' internal workings, it actually becomes a main subject for talking amongst friends - it is one area in which nearly all autism parents bond. Really, it is the parents of neurotypical children who are missing out on all the real fun. My sympathies...not all parents can have a special child.

On with it, already. The victim's story...

We do not have a lot of carpet in our home, however, the three upstairs bedrooms have fairly new, relatively new, and five-year-old carpet in them. All are berber and all now have their fair share of stains on them, with Reiss's room and my husband's and my bedroom having the most recent stains.

Why do I blame autism for ruining our carpet? The answer is very simple, really. If it were not for autism, Reiss would most likely not have yeast overgrowth in his gastrointestinal tract and without yeast overgrowth, he would not need to be on a medication that has given him sudden, explosive diarrhea at around 8:00 every evening for the last week that causes him to utter that phrase no mother ever wants to hear: "I didn't make it."

While I do not enjoy cleaning up dribbles, puddles, smears, and spatters of diarrhea, I do take comfort in knowing that all this misery of playing maid of the messes is not without its reward, namely, all the yeast die-off which, aside from metals chelation, ranks pretty high on the list of holy grail goals for parents of children with autism.

So bring it on, autism! You can ruin my carpet and you can ensure my SpotBot remains gainfully employed in this house, but you will not break my spirit - for a Warrior Mom never gives up!

An Early Morning Stumble

2010-08-09T04:49:00.007-05:00

After a rather early awakening this morning by a certain two-year-old, I found myself tossing and turning, trying unsuccessfully to go back to sleep. So, as I almost always do when battling insomnia, I got up and went to the computer.

As the new school year approaches, just thinking of Reiss attending public school gives me heart palpitations. School starts in four days and we are not even certain whether or not he will be going on to kindergarten within our school system. Yes, with there only being a matter of four days that separate us from now until the beginning of school, we should know if our child is going to start school and yes, most people - including other parents of children with autism - do know whether or not their child is going to go to school. However, we are not "most" people and "most" people do not have to deal with case conferences, IEP's, therapists, and assorted other things that make up the story behind why we do not know if our child will be attending kindergarten within the public school system. But that story is one for another time, not now.

Back to my heart palpitations and the anxiety causing them...

In the past few weeks, merely the thought of sending Reiss to public school darn near gives me a full-on anxiety attack. My mind races with news stories of children with autism being abused by teachers, disappearing from school, and of one autistic boy who even drowned in a school's pool. I think about how no one knows a child with autism like his own parents. I think about how I have tried to explain to one of my own relatives that my child does not comprehend danger and is often a "runner." I also recall the response received and it was not one that provided me reassurance of a total understanding of the problem. If I cannot get someone who is related to my child to "get" it, how on earth am I going to stress the importance of safety to a teacher - someone who is merely being paid to educate my child, not make sure for instance, that he comes back from the bathroom or eats only the food sent to school with him or does not have a meltdown because his pants got water on them or...or...or...?

It is all the "ors" that have brought homeschooling back to the forefront of my thoughts, so with not being able to sleep this morning, I began digging around (again) online for homeschool resources and specifically, for people who have children with autism who they homeschool. In doing so, I stumbled across Free Printable Fun, a fun little blog written by Jamie Sue, a crafty mom to a five-year-old boy with autism.

Jamie Sue does not post very often and from what I have read so far, I do not get the impression that she homeschools (but I could be wrong!) or that she uses the projects she posts as homeschool materials. Again, finding her site was simply a stumble for me that appeared when I Googled "homeschool autism resources." However, the content of her posts are valuable and the projects seem fun, even if they are not meant to be part of a structured homeschool curriculum - although some of them could be used in conjunction with other materials for that very purpose.

Vaccines: Are You REALLY "Green?"

2010-08-03T04:34:00.017-05:00

Yesterday, an acquaintance who is also one of my Facebook friends declared she has decided to go "green" as well as going organic. The two go hand in hand and one would be hard-pressed to do one without doing the other. When she posted her decision to her Facebook wall, I could not help but wonder if she will still choose to vaccinate her children. Yes, I do realize it is none of my business and anyone who knows me well enough knows I only try to educate others on autism and vaccines rather than condemn people for continuing to vaccinate.

That said, even many "crunchy" parents who are not parents of children with autism choose not to vaccinate. They do so with the intent of removing as many harmful chemicals as possible from their families' lives and with overall health of their bodies and the earth in mind.

Perhaps it is not my place to do so but I sometimes feel compelled to provide people with unsolicited information regarding vaccines that they most likely will not have been given otherwise by their pediatrician or have come across on their own. My friend's Facebook post was one of those compelling moments. Before you get all snappy with me though, let it be known that I was tactful enough to send it to her in a Facebook message rather than post it as a comment. Give me some credit, already!

Knowing what I, myself, have learned through this process of going green and buying organic and removing chemicals from our own home, I also know that we are constantly having "a-ha" moments when we discover we have missed a detail here or there and we find something that should be removed. For example, air fresheners are one of those things people do not think about a whole lot but studies have shown they can cause hormonal disruption.

A lot of people probably think nothing of turning on their faucet and getting a drink of water. After all, if you are reading this, you probably reside in a civilized country - not some third world country - and the water is clean here, right? Or is it? The CDC estimates more than 60% of U.S. households on public water receive fluoride in their water. That sounds like a good thing until you consider the fact that fluoridated water has been linked to cancer. The CDC claims there is "no credible evidence" of a link between the two but the CDC also puts out a lot of things I do not agree with - for instance, I should have my child vaccinated for chickenpox. It's chickenpox, folks! Kids get it and they get over it and their immune systems are stronger afterwards. My kids do not need a shot of aborted human fetuses or MSG or antibiotic (Neomycin) (see Varicella) just to ensure that they might not contract chickenpox. Aside from all that and back to the issue of water, none of what I mentioned is even considering all the heavy metals, disposed medications, and other toxins people receive by drinking tap water. Not all water is treated, ya' know. And what cannot be treated gets dumped right back into the water supply. Mmm, Mmm! Makes me thirsty just thinking about it!

As is often the case when I write very late at night or incredibly early in the morning, I have gotten off on a tangent. Bringing us back now...

Vaccines are one of those areas I feel few people probably consider when they decide to go green and so here is the message I sent my friend with a few personal details removed, of course...

"In addition to going "green" I noticed you mentioned you are going organic as well. Knowing what I know now with our situation and everything we have learned along the way with autism and going green and eating organically, I thought I would suggest that you consider looking into what is in the vaccines children receive today. Although pesticides cannot be washed off 100% effectively, and going organic is a great idea, a lot of people don't realize their children will receive more toxins over the full course of vaccinating than they will receive if they still choose to eat non-organically.

Before you blow me off and think I am one of those anti-vaccine crazed autism parents, let me explain that I am not anti-vaccine. I am anti-toxin. As in, I am against doing any further injections of proven toxins into my children. Since nearly every vaccine out there contains PROVEN harmful chemicals, it's worth knowing what is going into our children.

I don't tell people NOT to vaccinate their children (it's none of my business!), I simply ask that they educate themselves because the fact is, most people DON'T know what is in vaccines. They blindly trust their pediatricians and even many pediatricians do not know what is in vaccines if you ask them. Believe me, I know this from experience now. I wish I had known to ask before....maybe we wouldn't be where we are now.

That said, here are some things to know about vaccines:

*Children whose pediatricians follow the CDC (Centers for Disease Control) and AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) vaccine guidelines now receive 36 vaccines by the age of five years old (by six years, for some). That number will soon jump to 42 vaccines. When you and I were younger, the guidelines called for a total of TEN vaccines.

2010 CDC Vaccine Guidelines

You will notice, a number of vaccines given to children are given several times (one initial shot and then "boosters"). One question many of us who no longer vaccinate ask is, if vaccines are so effective then why do children need so many "boosters?" Another question to ask is, "Does my child really need ______ vaccine? While some vaccines are meant for diseases with high death rates, many of them are for "diseases" that are very mild in their effects and few people die as a result of contracting them. For example, how many people do you know who have died from chicken pox? There wasn't even a chickenpox vaccine when we were children....kids got it, they got over it, no big deal. And an added bonus is their immune systems became stronger because of it.

*Many "outbreaks" of diseases occur involving individuals who ARE fully-vaccinated. Even the government owns up to this fact. So again, if vaccines are so effective, then why are individuals who are fully vaccinated coming down with some of these diseases?

*Many vaccines contain aluminum, formaldehyde, and thimerosal (mercury) - all of which have been proven to cause neurological damage and are also linked to cancer cell growth in laboratory rats. HERE is the ingredients list. Something to consider when your child is being injected with these toxins over 30 times.....

*Vaccines can legally be marketed as mercury-free/preservative-free even when they contain "traces" of mercury in them. Those "traces" have been shown to be anywhere from 1-60 times the amount of mercury proven to cause neurological damage.

*Vaccines can and do harm SOME individuals. At the very least, they can come with a whole host of side effects. However, your doctor won't tell you this and you won't know unless you read the vaccine inserts, which you are usually not given unless you ask for them. The government owns up to the possibility of vaccine injury as well with their vaccine compensation program.

*If you still choose to vaccinate, ask THESE eight questions before doing so.

*Finally, and most important to know, you are NOT required to vaccinate your child for him/her to be allowed to attend school. You DO have a choice - make it an educated one!"

And The Winner Is...

2010-08-01T21:01:00.001-05:00

In my latest giveaway, the winner of "House Rules" by Jodi Picoult is:

AmandaSue

Congratulations!!!

Give the Gift of Mercury!

2010-07-29T21:08:00.013-05:00

Since today is my birthday and all, naturally, I had to do some shopping! At Walgreens, of all places.

Actually, my trip to Walgreens was not for a gift at all but rather, I was on a mission for flushable wipes, since we seem to have an increased need for them around here with all the potty-training taking place. However, while I was in there, I found that rare but commonly sought after gift: the really unique kind of gift that not just anyone will buy and give to a friend or loved one.

If you have been wanting to give someone the gift of mercury but are finding it difficult to come by (except, of course, to those who are employed in a position where a HAZMAT suit is required) or if you simply desire to give the kind of gift that keeps on giving (and giving and giving and giving - oh yeah, this stuff will not be leaving the body anytime soon!), Walgreens now makes it easy for you with the Walgreens Flu Shot Gift Card!

Brilliant, right?

And the best part? It is the gift of mercury....with no HAZMAT suit required!

This card has flexibility too! According to the Walgreens website, "this card can be redeemed only for administration of (1) Seasonal Flu Vaccination or (1) Preservative-Free Seasonal Flu Vaccination." So you can trade mercury (thimerosal) for any number of other things such as formaldehyde, neomycin (an antibiotic), chick kidney cells, or monosodium glutamate - depending upon the availability of various flu shot brands at your particular Walgreens, of course.

You can look for these gift cards in your local Walgreens stores now or link directly to them above and pre-order online with free shipping! Online availability is limited to their release date in September though.

Pick up a few on your next trip to Walgreens - and don't forget those babies on your gift lists. That ~~mercury injection~~ flu shot given to Mommy and Daddy is the same one given to their six-month old baby. After all, one size fits all!

Still in doubt about the ingredients in vaccines? Click HERE for the United States' Centers for Disease Control's list of vaccine ingredients.

It's a Giveaway!!! Win "House Rules" by Jodi Picoult

2010-07-23T20:21:00.004-05:00

My local TACA chapter has so generously provided me with a copy of House Rules by Jodi Picoult. In keeping with my on-going goal of spreading awareness regarding autism and how it affects entire families, I feel sharing this book is just one small way in which I can reach out to others. This book is a real page-turner - regardless of whether or not the reader has a child with autism. So with that said, let's do a giveaway!

To enter, simply make a comment to this post.

Spam comments (comments left only for the purpose of linking to inappropriate websites) do not count as an entry and will be deleted. All entries will have an equal chance of winning and therefore, multiple entries are not necessary.

Entry into the giveaway is an assumed waiver of anonymity. In other words, if you enter, you are giving permission for your name or blog name to be announced publicly on this site if your entry is the chosen winner.

Giveaway entry deadline is midnight EST July 31st, 2010. Only comments made before that time are valid entries.

A winning entry will be chosen at random August 1st, 2010. The winner will be announced on a separate post on this site.

Winner will have until midnight EST August 2nd, 2010 to reply by email with their name and mailing address to pnewlin@prodigy.net.

Good luck to all!

And THIS Is Why I Need Wine....

2010-07-12T21:30:00.005-05:00

If you were to ask my husband to rate my typical level of anxiety on a scale of say, Unflappable to Loony Bin Candidate, I would probably fall a bit to the right of center somewhere around Calm Down, Already. I try to keep my cool. Really, I do. And honestly, I think I am getting better at it with each new day. My husband may beg to differ. However, after what I experienced today, I think even the most comatose person would have made a beeline for the "Adult Beverages" aisle.

This week is our week to provide snacks for the social playgroup Reiss goes to a few times per week and, contrary to his five-year-old mentality, the 3-ounce bag of gluten-free pretzels and package of cookies he picked out are not going to get him and his nine friends through three afternoons of snacktimes.

So off to the grocery I went this morning with Milla in tow.

We got there. We pulled in the parking lot. Finding a space was a piece of cake. I got Milla out of the car and we were having a little snuggly time with me carrying her because there were no carts to put her in and she did not want to walk.

As I was walking, as I always do, I was looking out for people who might be backing out of their spaces, unaware of my presence. Knowing how people drive, I am always on the lookout in parking lots. My husband calls this overprotective. I call it a necessary precautionary measure. And thank goodness I do it because today was the day Milla and I darn near became parking lot roadkill, thanks to Mr. Methuselah. No, I did not actually catch Mr. Senior Citizen's name and if you don't know who Methuselah is, just Google it....I've got a story to tell here.

So Methuselah, who was very large, was driving his nearly-dragging-the-ground silver Ford Taurus with - I am assuming - Edna, who was most certainly a Lane Bryant shopper, sitting in the front passenger side and Cujo in the backseat when he began to back out of his space, obviously without looking in his rearview mirror - because if he had, he would have seen that plain as day, were Milla and I, right smack behind his back bumper. Were it not for my quick-stepping from behind his car, Methuselah would surely be in jail right now for vehicular homicide.

Needless to say, I was a bit shaken up. This was no close call. It was as close as it gets to being run over without actually being run over. Better judgment may have directed me to leave it alone and keep walking but instead, I chose to give a little tap on Edna's window. She rolled her window down and I informed Methuselah that he had "just about run over me and my child."

Edna replied, "I'm sorry?" as if it were a question.

And why was she doing the talking, anyway? She was not the one driving. Whatever...at that time, I did choose to leave it alone and began walking towards the store. And here is where the story gets interesting.

Correct me if I am wrong, but would it not be prudent for anyone who is driving in a parking lot to actually watch where he or she is driving? That's what I would think. Apparently, I am in the wrong though, because Methuselah then rammed his car into Drive and started driving towards me, as if he was going to run over me from the front......and this time, on purpose!

Heart-pounding and gripping Milla with a death-hold, I slipped in between two cars with the thinking that doing so would provide safety from the psycho. Surely, this old fart wouldn't ram the cars too, would he?

Methuselah did not ram the cars and aside from the not-so-longterm psychological trauma, he did not harm Milla or me but what he did next shocked me to no end. He slammed his brakes on, rolled his window down, and yelled at me to "Watch where in the H... you're going!"

Seriously????

That old fart was lucky I had Milla with me and the mama lion mode in me was in high gear because I cannot guarantee that I would not have been the one in jail right now if Milla had not been with me. But I did not go after Methuselah. No, I let out a string of obscenities no mother wants their two-year-old to hear, much less allow her to hear come out of her own mother's mouth while in the arms of said mother.

Perhaps he saw my bark was worse than anything his scraggly Cujo could conjure up and thankfully, he pulled away without any further psychotic attempts at bodily harm or interaction with me. With that, I then began walking towards the store once again, making that aforementioned beeline straight to the wine aisle, where I so appropriately honored the occasion by picking out a bottle of vintage 2007 FAT bastard.

Luckily, so far, Milla has not repeated anything she heard earlier this morning. Pass the wine....I'll drink to that!

Be Part Of The Revolution!

2010-07-08T21:21:00.006-05:00

Okay, probably not a revolution and in the big picture, it is actually so trivial I cannot believe I am blogging about it but what the heck else am I supposed to do at eleven o'clock at night when I can't sleep and I have already raided the refrigerator? I mean, there is no hurry getting to those dishes on the counter. Or that puddle of spilled whatever that is on the floor. It will be easier to clean up when it's dry, anyway.

I will explain the "revolution" part in a moment but here is a shameless plug for a product I love and for a company who is not paying me a dime to brag on them.

Sunshine Burger "burgers" are one of my favorite convenience products for those nights when I either do not feel much like cooking or on Meatless Mondays in our house when we are....well, meatless in regards to our dinner. All varieties of Sunshine Burger are gluten-free and vegan and with their main ingredient being sunflower seeds, they pack a hefty punch of protein. If you happen to be one of the many in the low-carb crowd, the Original and Garden Herb varieties also offer a relatively low carbohydrate count with only 11 carbs per patty when you subtract the dietary fiber content.

Oh, wait....you say you are stuck on the part about sunflower seeds being in a "burger?" Do not be scared - these are not like so many other meat replacement products. Unlike some sham-burgers out there, these have flavor. And we, my family and I, actually eat them - so they are definitely not cardboard hippie food.

So what about the revolution? No, I am not planning a coup attempt. A few days ago, I posted to Sunshine Burger's Facebook Wall (because that sinkful of dishes and pile of clutter on the counter and the dirty bathrooms and the piles of unfolded laundry are all just illusions and I really am the most organized, best housekeeper in the world who most certainly does NOT have time to sit around and post random, meaningless things on Facebook....seriously) inquiring as to why their product is packaged three patties to a package. And now today, (because I am surely the only person who has ever asked about the 3-count package) Sunshine Burger posed a question to the fans of their Facebook page: "Who likes the Sunshine Burger 3 pack?"

AND that is not all. I, personally, received a message from someone at Sunshine Burger informing me of their quest to find out the preferred number of patties per package.

I told my husband I am taking credit for this revolution (please, PLEASE, note the sarcasm!). We are going to change the world.....or maybe just get Sunshine Burger to put an extra patty in those little packages and call it an even day.

If you want to ~~be part of the revolution I started~~ have your voice heard, please visit Sunshine Burger's Facebook Wall and state your preference.

And if you are still reading this and you think I have a superiority complex, please don't waste your time on my revolution. Stop what you are doing and work on obtaining some inkling of a sense of humor.

This AIN'T Nutella!

2010-07-06T21:37:00.009-05:00

Because it is way better than Nutella!

A few days ago, during one of those rare moments when I get to sit down and not only watch television, but hear it as well, a commercial for Nutella came on. In a previous life, I loved Nutella so much that I could have eaten the better part of an entire jar of the stuff in one sitting. Okay, who are we kidding...I could have eaten a whole jar, depending on the level of comfort I was seeking at the time. But those days of eating Nutella by the jar, or at all - for that matter - since we no longer eat dairy, are gone and how I miss them so.

So when this commercial came on for that oh-so-yummy chocolate hazelnut spread I got to thinking to myself, how hard could it be to make a gluten-free (Just so that I do not mislead - real Nutella does claim to be gluten-free but because it contains dairy, it does not meet our specific dietary needs.), dairy-free Nutella copycat from scratch?

I made plans to purchase some hazelnuts on my next trip to the health food store and I would "wing it" with my attempts to create a homemade "Nutella." A good dose of hazelnuts (Nutella only claims to contain approximately fifty hazelnuts per 13-ounce jar), some cocoa powder, agave nectar or perhaps some coconut palm sugar, coconut milk (the real stuff, not coconut milk beverage), and some vanilla and I was certain I would have exactly what I was looking for and would have made it with less sugar and with real ingredients, unlike like some people whose product contains so much sugar, it qualifies for the lead ingredient on the ingredients list.

Right about now, I feel like I should be doing the nah-nah-nah-nah-boo-boo thing here.......in their defense though, at least they are using sugar and have not jumped on the high fructose corn syrup bandwagon.

Okay, so fast forward to yesterday when I got done at the Y a little earlier than expected and decided to swing by the health food store on my way home. I was in the refrigerator aisle looking at all the different bags of nuts, looking for hazelnuts, when a little voice inside my head told me to check out the regular store shelves in that same aisle - which happen to contain nut butters, jams, preserves, conserves, and other goodies I should not eat - just to see if there were any sales.

(And, gee, I wonder where my son gets his inability to stay on task and focus for any given ten seconds.)

Right there smack in front of me was a "NEW!" product and if you have not guessed what it was, I will give you a hint: I believe predestined drive exists, in this case, my drive to purchase hazelnuts led me to find a product exactly like the one I was there buying ingredients for to make from scratch.

Justin's all-natural Chocolate Hazelnut Butter contains no artificial ingredients and the first ingredient on the list is - who'da thunk?!? - hazelnuts! It tastes like a grainier version of Nutella and is not quite as sweet, which is fine by me, considering we have cut out many sugars from our diet in our house and our palates have, as a result, become quite sensitive to "sweet." The maker does not claim the product to be casein-free but the label states that it is gluten-free and dairy-free and there are no obvious casein-containing ingredients listed. With that, I consider it to be "safe" to give to the kids and gave them small spoonfuls to try, just in case they might have some reaction or intolerance to the hazelnuts (Reiss blows serious chunks whenever he is given cashews). They loved it!

They loved it so much so that half the jar is gone only one day later! We sat around and ate it by spoonfuls (or is it spoonsful? Like mothers-in-law instead of mother-in-laws), pulling a new spoon out of the drawer with each bite....no second-hand spit-containing double-dipping allowed here!

At $7.89 per jar on sale, perhaps I should go back and stock up.....????

And no, Justin is not paying me to say any of this. Just as I was not aware of the existence of his product until yesterday, most likely he has not found me yet either.

EDIT 7/7/2010: I do indeed plan to call the company to be sure they are using gluten-free vanilla and to make certain their cocoa butter is truly dairy/casein-free. Unfortunately, as I learned yesterday from a visit to a local farmers market, sometimes when people say their product is free of gluten or casein, what they don't realize is that - while their own finished product may not include gluten or casein-containing ingredients - the ingredients themselves may have gluten or casein in them. i.e. Not all brands of vanilla are gluten-free.

Thanks For The Reminder, Rex!

2010-07-04T17:00:00.003-05:00

Happy Fourth of July to all my fellow Americans!

An ex-boyfriend posted this to his Facebook page and it served as a great reminder of all those who have fought and died for our country. As a female veteran of military service during the Persian Gulf War, the reference to "men" dying for this country seems a bit antiquated, in my opinion, however, it is a classic patriotic song, nonetheless.

Enjoy!

And by the way, for those of you who are a little slow getting to the train and wonder who Rex is, he is the ex-boyfriend.

Swimmin' at the Y!

2010-07-03T21:07:00.003-05:00

Who on Earth could have imagined two or three years ago that this is where we would be now?

A Monster Of A Party!

2010-06-29T22:53:00.011-05:00

Last week, our first-born monkey turned five years old!

I always have to laugh when other parents make the observation of their children growing up so quickly or empty-nesters whose grown children reached adulthood "in the wink of an eye." They all seem to say the same thing: "Where in the world does the time go?" Well, I will tell you where it goes or at least, where it went for me. For the first three-and-a-half years of being a parent, it ticked by so incredibly slowly all while I wondered if my "baby" - who was definitely no longer a baby - would ever stop waking every hour through the night, sometimes two or three times per hour, and if I would ever get any sleep again in this lifetime.

Alas, after starting our special diet and being convinced of its effectiveness on the very first night (the first night Reiss ever slept through the night in his whole entire short life!), we were finally getting some sleep and everyone thankfully survived. And now we are at five years old! FIVE! Who knew I would make it this long and live to tell about it? But I am definitely here and, unlike back then, time does not tick by nearly as slowly now that I am asleep for at least part of it in any given twenty-four hour period.

Enough of my woes....Can you tell I am so thankful for sleep?

Last Saturday we had a party for Reiss and rented a bounce house in the shape of a monster truck. Yes, I know how much bounce houses cost and I am also aware that our rental cost almost as much as buying one. And furthermore, I have chosen to say "enough is enough" regarding toys and clothes and stuff and things that require space for storage and I made the wise decision to go with the option of having someone else worry about where to store such a large item as a bounce house.

Yes, renting a bounce house is not an investment with endless returns but not having to store it makes up for all those "lost" returns.

Reiss wanted to keep the bounce house, as trucks are one of his favorite things but, as we explained to him, by having people who come to get the bounce house (instead of keeping it), we get to choose a different one every time we rent one. Milla has already called "dibs" on the princess castle bounce house for her birthday in October. Little do they know that renting a bounce house is not something that will happen with a whole lot of frequency.

We took some really adorable photos, however, due to privacy issues with other parents' children, only photos of Reiss and Milla are posted.

All of the above photos were taken before Reiss's party began and while Reiss and Milla were the only children playing in the bounce house. Just prior to the start of the party, I changed Milla into a perfectly-party-appropriate dress with a cupcake on it.

Reiss painting a car bank. It was one of the prizes leftover in the prize bin after the party.

From left: Crystal (Reiss's BCBA for his ABA therapy), Reiss, Milla, Heather (one of Reiss's ABA therapists)

Reiss getting ready to open his first gift. In this photo, we also have Anne, who is not one of Reiss's therapists but works for Crystal and was here with one of the children present at the party.

Reiss had $23 from his birthday to spend at Toys R Us. So what'd he get? A princess dress for Milla! We tried to persuade him otherwise but that is what he wanted to buy. He also bought himself one of those hippity-hop balls. I have no idea what the real name is for them. They are those things a child sits on, holds onto the handle, and jumps around on.

My little five-year-old prince and princess....

He Gets It! He REALLY Gets It!

2010-06-22T21:06:00.009-05:00

Reiss turned five years old today. His first words when he saw me this morning were, "Today is my birthday!"

and right after that,

"I'm five!"

I nearly poured out buckets of tears. Tears of joy, that is!

My first thought was that he gets it. He finally "gets" the whole excitement surrounding birthdays. It was like that line Sally Field became so famous for in her Oscar acceptance speech in the 1980's: "You like me! You really like me!" Except for the fact that she didn't actually say that. That was simply the gist of what she did say and what has gone down in history in the minds of the masses.

Reiss, however, does "get" it. He really gets it now that birthdays are something special. I must say with each of his previous birthdays I have wondered if he would ever understand the concept of birthdays and the anticipation of one's own birthday, let alone when he would ever understand. Even around this time last year, Reiss demonstrated no understanding of the concept of birthdays or of them being cause for celebration. He exhibited no interest in opening gifts or any of the traditional birthday celebratory activities.

And this is where I interrupt our regular programming for a public service message.

When I try to describe all the things that make up our particular world of autism, it is extremely difficult to describe to someone who has only experienced having or being around neurotypical children. While Reiss is one of those children who definitely falls onto the spectrum of autism, his particular challenges are not easily pinpointed without going into great detail.

Birthdays are one of those areas where parents of "normal" children take for serious granted. Neurotypical children have birthdays, they get excited about them at a fairly young age, and their parents usually do their best to make their child's big day special. I would venture to say that many of those parents cannot fathom their child not being excited about his or her birthday. On the other hand, many parents of children with autism often wonder if there will ever be a year when their child will get excited over his or her birthday. My husband and I are no different from most parents in that we have tried to make Reiss's birthdays special but the whole concept has always eluded him...until now. His excitement left me with such hope for the future that I am certain is way bigger than any gift anyone could give to him.

My point?

When your "normal" child is sitting there whining and being a little patoot about his birthday gifts not being exactly what he wanted or when your little princess's heart is broken because you rented pony rides instead of a royal bounce house, just thank your lucky stars that your little turkey is even aware of that one special day each year.

End of public service message. Getting down off my soapbox now.

We are having a big bounce house bash for Reiss on Saturday but here are the photos from this evening....

The cake is gluten-free and casein-free, of course, and can be viewed HERE. We purchased three of them from our local health food store. If you are interested in purchasing this kind of cake, you might check with your own natural foods market or health food store. From what I understand, the Shabtai website is frequently out of stock on this item because so many distributors buy up their stock whenever they get them made. Plus, I paid less buying ours from the health food store than what the website charges.

Their photo, nor mine, does this cake justice. Theirs does not look exactly like the cake we have, as the flower in the center of the cake we have is made of chocolate icing, while the one on their website has colored flowers. I am pretty certain they have gone to the chocolate flower and just have not changed the website photo. The chocolate flower makes the cake seem so much more elegant, in my opinion.

Our Sunday BEST: A Revelation

2010-06-20T23:12:00.003-05:00

For nearly five years in our house, every Saturday morning, without fail, we have had Pancake Saturday. In that time, I cannot recall a single Saturday when we have not made pancakes and we always make them from scratch.

For several months now, we have also eaten the same thing almost every Sunday morning as the previous Sunday morning and it was just this afternoon when I had a revelation. The acronym for our bacon, eggs, smoothies, and toast we eat on Sundays spells out the word "BEST." So from this day forward, our weekend breakfasts will consist of Pancake Saturday and our Sunday BEST.

Yes, I will admit I have some oddities. It's okay - I'm fine with owning up to those oddities.

By the way, I was going to wish you all a Happy Father's Day but with it being 12:22 AM on Monday morning, it looks like I am a little late to the punch. Hope it was a good one!

For our Father's Day.......

--- I called my own father and wished him a happy birthday and a happy Father's Day. My dad's birthday falls on the same date every year (one would hope so, right?) and some years that happens to be on Father's Day. This year was one of those years.

--- Reiss gave James a "hot glove" (that is a Reiss-ism for what others might call an oven mitt) he made at his ABA social group. It says, "Hands down, you're the greatest dad! Happy Father's Day!" Reiss wrapped it in some paper with the ends still open and set it on his and Milla's toy kitchen. He then waited to give it to James this morning. Too bad he already told Daddy two days ago what he was going to give him. Nonetheless, James reacted with surprise and excitement today when given his gift.

--- We went for a short road trip to Bloomington, a city approximately 45 minutes away from our home. We went to see two sets of aunts and uncles on my mother's side of the family who are currently in town for "mini-college," a week's worth of informational seminars on various topics at Indiana University. One set of relatives are in from Albuquerque, New Mexico and the other calls Clover, South Carolina home. It was really great to see them and unfortunately, we do not see them enough. I know they were disappointed that we could not go have dinner with them but Reiss and Milla were going downhill fast after already having visited for two hours and we are only just now beginning to get a hold on the whole dining-out-with-a-child-who-cannot-sit-still-for-five-minutes-let-alone-an-hour-or-more kind of thing, so long story short, we bid our good-byes and headed for home. They all went out for Indian cuisine and we came home to chicken satay with 100% buckwheat soba noodles and peas. The grilled chicken and peas were leftover from last night's dinner leaving me with only having to cook the soba noodles - for seven minutes, not eight like the package directs. I learned that little tidbit from Kelly over at The Spunky Coconut.

--- Before the visiting with the relatives, we went and bought a cooler and a bunch of ice at the superstore where I do some of our grocery shopping so that we could take it with us to go to another kind of grocery - a natural foods market. The irony that I was buying a cooler at one grocery store so that I could shop at another almost makes me laugh out loud. Actually, I would let out a good chuckle if it weren't for the fact that my children sometimes seem to sleep as light as special forces military personnel.

After purchasing the cooler, we set out on our little roadtrip and then to Bloomingfoods once we arrived in Bloomington. Peppadew peppers, maple sugar, 240 Sweet artisan marshmallows, and Himala Salt were just a few of the wonderful little treats I picked up while there. I have not found Peppadew peppers anywhere locally. Perhaps I could find them and any of the other items if I were to go to Whole Foods but that is a bit of a drive from us as well. The Himala Salt is easy enough to find at my usual health food stores but neither carries the large rock crystals for grinding.

Bloomingfoods was a nice little diversion and I will admit that I'm just plain giddy with my artisan marshmallows and Peppadew peppers (I bought both the red and yellow variety!) but the produce at Bloomingfoods was a bit pricier than I'm used to paying. For example, their organic bananas were $.99/lb. I am accustomed to paying $.69 or $.79 per pound at regular price or $.29-$.49 per pound when they are getting overripe and are marked down.

--- And finally, I was reminded that, on this day one year ago, Reiss had his first seizure.

Here You Are, June!

2010-06-09T20:36:00.005-05:00

With my last post I hoped for warm weather and the arrival of June and now, here it is, the month of sunny days and strawberry picking in the Hoosier state. June is not only here but close to a third gone. My apologies for sounding cliche but seriously, where does the time go? What's more is it has been close to three weeks since my last post. Needless to say, I have become quite the blogging slacker. Not to be confused with a general slacker, which by far, does not describe me, despite my wishes to be able to do less and relax more.

So what have we been up to these last few weeks?

We have gone to downtown Indianapolis and rented a paddle boat on the canal. The photos from that outing.....

(To be read to the same beat as "Five Little Monkeys") Two little monkeys rolling down a hill, one got grass stains on his knee. Momma didn't worry and she didn't fret. She just let them play and frolic with glee.

Where might the photos of the actual paddle boat be, you ask? Well, long story short, paddle boats do not come equipped with seatbelts. Or at least, the paddle boat we rented did not come with them. Between trying to paddle the boat in a semi-sane path of travel through the canal and making certain none of our belongings - to include our backpack and children - fell overboard, conducting a photoshoot fell to the bottom of the priorities list.

Two weekends ago, we went to a USDA certified organic farm to "see the cows." There was not much to see but the man working the tiny little store there was nice enough to walk us out to the barn for the kids to see some calves and the bull. We purchased a few potatoes, sweet potatoes, and onions. We also bought a pound of ground pork and much to my disappointment, they were out of veal at the time. We have a few photos from that little outing but as with so many things in our house, they have gotten lost in the shuffle. Actually, there is a pretty good chance they are still on the camera waiting to be downloaded. Guess I will find out next time I use the camera.

We have also gone to a neurologist appointment, a DAN! appointment, and spent countless hours doing ABA, occupational, and speech therapies.

We had a laugh-so-hard-I-cried moment here on Monday evening. I'm not quite sure why I decided to set up the pool that day, as it was quite cool for a June day but for some reason I asked the kids if they wanted to set it up and (stupid question, huh?) of course they did. It was one of those impulse decisions that was not well thought out at all and coaxing either child into the water meant boiling water in a big pan in the house several times and pouring it into the pool. (Yes, I always make them get out of the water when we pour the boiling water in....give me some credit, will ya?)

Anyway, Reiss had gotten out of the pool and walked around in the grass and the driveway a bit before coming back to the pool and stepping in, only to yell "There's a SNAKE in the pool!" loud enough for the neighbors on the next street to hear. My husband went over to inspect where Reiss was pointing to discover our "snake" was a dried up dead worm that was two inches long if it was a mile. He pulled it out, held it up, and then discarded it into the grass. And then that is when my laughing and snorting and, eventually, the tears began to stream out of me.

As I am sitting here, I just remembered Reiss has also GRADUATED since my last post. Yes, I know, this seems like a rather big thing to forget but in my defense, a lot happens in three weeks and I have slept since then....even if only a little. His graduation produced several adorable photos. However, many of them have other children in them and due to privacy and blah, blah, blah...they are not on here. Here are the photos I can post. Enjoy....

Where Are You, June?

2010-05-22T19:54:00.005-05:00

Wouldn't it be nice if I told you I picked these fresh out of our strawberry patch this morning?

That would be nice but it would also be a lie. We do not have a strawberry patch, much less one that puts out beautiful organic strawberries. We live on a fairly wooded lot and in Indiana, so neither factor is conducive to the production of plump, red berries in the middle of May. Seriously, we are still enduring jacket weather some days.

Next month...next month will be a different story. We will still live on a wooded lot and we will still not have our own strawberry patch but we will go pick strawberries at a local farm. Until then, I can dream and enjoy these.

Come on, June......

How Many Are Out There?

2010-05-20T21:08:00.005-05:00

This may sound like an unhealthy bit of curiosity but sometimes I cannot help but wonder how many parents out there are on the verge of having a child diagnosed with autism. Some people claim to have gay-dar, which I do not have, nor do I care to have. Whether you play for the girls' team or the boys' team makes no difference to me. However, I do sometimes think I have A-dar and can spot a child with autism in a crowd or in a playgroup or while we are in the library in the children's section.

Before anyone criticizes me though, I only think I possess this ability to pick up on an autism frequency because I have been exposed to so many children with autism other than my own.

I wonder how many people - parents of children with autism, people who have worked around children with autism, or simply individuals who have had exposure to autism - pinned my child with autism using their own A-dar. Were they friends of mine who were trying to tell me something before I ever had a clue what was going on with my child? Did they know but did not want to say anything for fear of my reaction? I really wish I knew.

I wish I knew what the right thing is to say or not to say to the three friends of mine with children whom I suspect have autism. How would they react if I suggested they have their child evaluated? Has it ever crossed their minds that their child has more going on than just a cranky nature and delayed speech? Have they ever wondered why their child throws tantrums over seemingly nothing? Or that the constant diarrhea never seems to go away? Do they think it is normal for a child to have some kind of illness at all times and that medicating and medicating over and over is the key to good health? Has anyone ever even given them a list of signs of autism? Probably not. Many pediatricians know little or nothing about autism themselves, much less would they know how to educate the parents of their wee patients.

Then there is the child of another friend of mine whose developmental fate is unfolding right before my eyes every day on Facebook. This particular friend is a person with whom I am primarily Facebook friends with and only know as an acquaintance in "real life" - in other words, someone who I would not dare suggest an inkling of a notion of autism regarding her child. I have to wonder why she never makes the connection between her child's vaccination schedule and the following days of non-stop crying, fevers, and illnesses. She is one who posts often and with great detail regarding her family's goings-on - which, by the way, I am not criticizing by any means. Most of the time, I rather enjoy her posts. Her family is very active and helpful to others in need and that is probably why it is all the more heartbreaking when one day she posts something along the lines of "_____ was so brave today at the pediatrician's office while getting all his shots." and then the very next day her posts may go something like, "_____ was up all night last night with a fever. He's sleeping now. I hope he just had a rough night."

And then perhaps later that day, "_____ has been crying all day long. I can't wait for these phases he goes through to be done." Or, "Ends up _____ is sick with a fever, diarrhea, and vomiting. Back to the doctor.....again."

I have watched this poor mom's Facebook posts go on like this following every round of shots her child has received since his birth not so long ago. I want to reach out to her and tell her what I have noticed. I want to tell her that only she can make an educated decision whether or not to have her child vaccinated BUT this correlation between his vaccines and his poor health is unmistakably and undeniably not a coincidence.

If I had it all to do over again, I would hope that if someone's A-dar was going off with Reiss when he was younger, that person would have said something to me. At the same time though, I think I know why no one ever said anything to me. They were probably in the same boat I currently find myself in. They were afraid of how their suggestion would be received.

And now I wonder which of my Facebook friends will ask, "Are you talking about my child?"

Our Kids Are NOT Collateral Damage

2010-05-01T10:08:00.024-05:00

But that is the response our governments are providing to many parents regarding the vaccine injuries their children have sustained. "Collateral damage" is the first thing that came to mind when I saw Eric Prine's story.

To see Eric's story, click here:

For a chance to win this beautiful painting, donate $10 to HAPI and one ticket will go into the drawing with your name. This 18x24 acrylic painting was hand painted and framed by Ronnie Prine, in Morrison, CO. Ronnie is the father of Eric Prine, 17, who was severely damaged by his DPT vaccine.

Eric is the size of a 5 year old and continues to have seizures every day of his life. He is Ronnie's angel on earth and requires 24/7 care which Ronnie and his wife, an RN, provide. Ronnie likes to paint away his pain by creating beautiful scenes.

The drawing for this painting will take place on Sunday, June 6th at the People's Fair booth in Denver, CO at 3:00pm. Need not be present to win. All proceeds will go to support HAPI in their continued efforts to provide information to parents regarding the risks of vaccinations and parents' rights.

Use hapi.vaxinfo@gmail.com for PayPal donations, use "painting ticket" for the memo, or send a check made out to HAPI to PO Box 7068, Gunnison, CO 81230 and write "painting ticket" in the memo line.

Donations are tax deductible. www.hapihealth.com

These Seizures Are Going To Give Me A Stroke

2010-04-18T15:52:00.010-05:00

Reiss creating a masterpiece for "Make Your Own Pizza Night" this past Friday evening....

Because I am a slacker blogger and have not bothered to write anything in nearly two weeks, "Which seizures?" you might ask.

Well, there was the seizure Reiss had last June that we thought certain was triggered by an antibiotic he was on at the time. Long story...He had started an antibiotic, had a seizure within twenty-four hours of the first dose, so we ceased the dosing and began looking around online for information regarding the antibiotic. Come to find out - and this was confirmed by a real live doc, not just online information - that particular antibiotic has a high seizure incident rate in the general population.

For those who are not aware, autistic children have a thirty percent (actually, I've seen varying estimates on this but for the sake of this post, I'll go with the percentage I've seen most often) higher chance of having a first-time seizure than a typical child. So why, oh why, would a doctor prescribe a medication that already has a high seizure rate in neurotypical people to a child with autism?

That is not what this post is about though, so I will go ahead and move on now. Oh wait, no, I won't. Not before mentioning that we no longer see that doctor.

And then there was the second seizure. Fast forward to this past Monday and Reiss had another seizure. This one did not come on nearly as quickly as the first one. With the first one, Reiss went from zoning out to being unconscious in a matter of ten minutes or less. With this one, he began zoning out and it was so mild that I wasn't even certain he was having a seizure. Many of his symptoms - strange noises with his tongue (only in the beginning), belly gurgling, eyes and head going off to one side, limp body - were the same both times, but the duration of the individual seizures varied greatly. This seizure went on for around forty-five minutes before our doctor ordered us to administer the anti-seizure medication.

Through all of this particular seizure, I was particularly calm to a point that it even surprised me. So the title of this blog post isn't entirely accurate but who knows maybe I was frantic on the inside.....I did catch my hand shaking at one point, but otherwise, I think my unconscious mind was sending messages to my conscious mind telling it to keep things in order.

Reiss's first seizure meant a trip to the hospital and an overnight stay. After first arriving at the hospital and a little ways into the hospital staff treating Reiss with Valium, an antibiotic, and something else that I cannot recall at the moment, James and I got treated to an interesting interaction between two of the hospital employees. They were arguing over the correct dosage amount and one was accusing the other of administering too high a dosage.

Um...hello???? Our son is convulsing on the table (which, by the way, he only began doing after they began pumping him full of God knows what) and I am sitting there a crying, blithering idiot mess of a mom. Do you really think arguing over the dose amount is something you should do in front of a parent who thinks their child may die right in front of their very eyes?? And to give said parent more fuel for the fire of her insanity in that maybe you aided in her child's death by overdosing?

Obviously, Reiss did not die but one can see where I would hesitate to take him to the hospital in the event another seizure should occur, which it did, or I would not be writing this right now. Needless to say, I was a bit reluctant to call an ambulance this time.

And guess what???

Reiss took almost two days to fully recover from his seizure and all the medications he was pumped full of last time during his care with "professionals."

His recovery time for this seizure?

Two hours. Two hours after I injected the Diastat suppository in him, Reiss was up and running around - more actively than I would have preferred, as a matter of fact. Monday evening, he seemed a little tired but Tuesday morning he was back to his usual hundred-miles-a-minute self.

I know some people will call it a coincidence that Reiss recovered so much more quickly with this seizure and they ~~can be wrong if they want to be~~ are welcome to their opinions. However, I truly believe Reiss recovered so soon afterward because he did not receive all the medications this time that he did last June.

It is times like these that I actually wish my family's life could be under a little microscope for doctors to observe. To see that more medications do not necessarily mean better medical care. That the body can help itself with less intervention. But that won't happen as long as there are pharmaceutical reps making themselves permanent fixtures in doctors' waiting rooms and......

Blah, blah, blah....I'm officially rambling and the pharmaceutical argument is not one I plan to revisit today.

Reiss is fine. All week long, he has played just like nothing extraordinarily out-of-the-ordinary happened earlier this week. He is back to challenging James and me when we tell him to do something and seeing what he can get away with and bossing Milla around and arguing with her and taking toys from her and crying when she instigates something herself. He made it through one full week this week with no #2 accidents in his pants. Yesterday, we visited a bounce place as a reward. He helped make pancakes yesterday on Pancake Saturday, just as he has done every single Saturday for almost four years now. This afternoon, as I did make-ahead prep work of cutting veggies and mixing sauce ingredients for our dinner, Reiss made certain I was aware - by telling me no less than thirty times - that he does not like Orange Chicken (that he apparently has forgotten that he eats the heck out of every single time we have it for dinner). As I write this, Reiss is "helping" change flood lights outside by holding the ladder for James. Hopefully, "holding the ladder" does not mean tipping the ladder and a dreaded visit to the hospital.

Yes, things are back to normal. Life is good.............

Kicking Myself

2010-04-07T22:45:00.003-05:00

While we are enjoying the results and benefits of the last three weeks of Reiss receiving ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) therapy, at the same time, I am kicking myself every day for having not fought more intensely for him to receive such therapy since learning about it more than a year ago.

When I first discovered ABA therapy, I did what I now look back on and think of as a very casual, half-hearted effort to seek ABA therapy as part of our treatment plan for Reiss' autism. After coming up with basically no resources for ABA in our area, I gave up. A few months later, once again, something apparently sparked my interest in seeking out ABA services for Reiss but the only results I came up with at that time were Lovaas and ABA centers that are a one-hour one-way trip from our home.

I didn't want the hassle of being responsible for submitting our own insurance claims that came with Lovaas services and driving a one-hour drive to a center and sitting for four to eight hours while Reiss received therapy was simply out of the question. Laziness has nothing to do with my reluctance to file our own insurance claims. No, my hesitancy stems more from past experiences with insurance companies and how they frequently try to pass the financial responsibility on to the consumer rather than own up to their entire purpose for providing insurance - paying the claims.

Making a one-hour drive to a center was not even something I would have considered doing. It's not that I would not do just about anything to improve Reiss's autism symptoms, but rather, many factors combined to make considering such a trek on a daily basis totally unfeasible. First, I also have Milla to think about. Making such a trek daily when she was barely a year old would have been like packing up our lives every single day so that we could go and sit all day in the parents' area of the center waiting for Reiss to come out. How would that even be fair to a one-year-old? And that's not even considering the factor of inconvenience. Second, Indiana is not the greatest place to be during the winter months. It's not unusual for what is usually a five- or ten-minute drive during warmer months to transform into an hour-long expedition out into the tundra during the winter months. So imagine what an hour-long drive under normal driving conditions translates to in blizzard-like conditions. Not fun. Not to mention, stressful, and somewhat dangerous.

During all this, there was also the question of "How in the world are we going to pay for this?" When your child receives an autism diagnosis, no one hands you a nice little manual on how to proceed after you leave the doctor's office. Most of this stuff you learn by trial and error, talking to other parents of autistic children that you meet along this journey, and by spending countless hours doing your own homework - and God knows that's necessary since no doctor out there is losing sleep over my child or spending his time advocating for him.

Anyway, so it's no surprise that I learned about ABA and then went for months wondering how all the families in these success stories I was reading about could afford ABA for their child(ren). No one ever bothered to mention anything to me about autism mandates or the fact that - regardless of my loathing Indiana winters - my family lives in quite possibly one of the best states in the United States when it comes to having a child with autism and the mandate that entitles my child to insurance coverage for autism treatments.

Depending on the source one consults, a full-time ABA program for a child can cost upwards to $100,000 per year. Yes, that's per year - approximately two times the total median individual (as opposed to a family) income for a resident of the United States and approximately three times the annual cap of $36,000 that many states provide for in their own autism mandates. Luckily, as I later found out, Indiana is not only lucky enough to have an autism mandate, but we also currently do not have any dollar amount caps on the benefits a child can receive annually. At $100K per year (and that's quite a lot more than the average I am finding), or even $36,000 per year for autism treatments alone, it begs the question of why the insurance companies themselves are not calling on politicians to demand funding for further research into autism and its causes....but that's a whole 'nother rant.

It wasn't until early this year when I declared myself to be on a renewed mission of seeking out the best possible routes of treatment for Reiss that I really began paying attention to what the autism mandate meant for us. When I researched it further and learned that basically the mandate states our insurance plan cannot deny ABA services to Reiss, it was like we had won a small victory that I had never really fought very hard to achieve. It was a victory, nonetheless, and when the former director of one of the centers I had previously contacted gave me a call to tell me she and her husband were opening a center on our side of town, I was ecstatic. Little did she know that in the following days the introductions she made possible between myself and another former employee of the same center where she was employed would result in our family getting started with ABA by means of an in-home program, much sooner than her own center was opened.

Do I feel guilty for facilitating Reiss's in-home ABA program with a different individual than the person who was trying to get us onboard as clients in their own facility? No, not really because we may still end up sending Reiss to the center once it opens so that he can continue having social interactions on a regular basis.

Long story long, that is how we arrived where we are today. Reiss is doing an in-home ABA program for around 22 hours per week and we are in Week 4. After school is out for the summer, Reiss will bump up to forty hours per week. If you are not familiar with ABA, this probably sounds like a grueling schedule to keep, especially for a child who isn't even five years old. However, ABA therapy is very play-oriented in its teaching techniques. Reiss generally runs three to five "programs" and then gets a free period in which he can choose the activity he wishes to do for the duration of his break until the next set of programs.

The results we have seen so far are amazing.

We are experiencing many less tantrums.

Now, unlike before ABA, Reiss sometimes gets water or something on his shirt and there is no meltdown. Sometimes, in these instances, my husband and I find ourselves looking at one another while both of us are thinking, "Okay, where is the tantrum? Is it coming and is just delayed?" But it never comes and we are shocked and amazed.

Car rides are actually enjoyable - something I have never - post children -been able to say prior to now. Reiss and Milla sit. And they are often quiet. No screaming. No stressing me out to a point where a three minute car ride is like enduring a non-medicated root canal. And at the risk of jinxing myself, I will even go so far to say they often watch DVD's while in the car, as in, they actually pay attention to them.

And discipline....oh, where do I begin? Prior to ABA, nothing and I really mean nothing has ever proven effective with Reiss for any given amount of time. Timeouts were the worst. Sending him to his room was like a reward. Reward systems meant nothing to him. Positive reinforcement was like a permission slip to follow his good deeds with an undesirable behavior. If parents of typical children thinks it's difficult trying to discipline a child, they have no clue what it's like for many parents of autistic children. These children simply think and process things differently - and that's not my opinion, it's a fact.

Reiss is writing and drawing and - I don't even know how to word this to give it the magnitude it deserves - recognizing written words. I would venture to say he is reading. Reading by rote memory recognition of words used repeatedly in visuals with his ABA programs, but reading, all the same.

The most amazing thing though, is that Reiss is actually initiating conversations - no, wait, I mean meaningful conversations with people. He is asking people their names, their middle names, last names, birth dates. Before ABA, Reiss barely noticed the existence of other people around him, much less engage in conversational speech with them.

With ABA, I feel like we have our sanity back. Literally.

Finally arriving where we have has been quite a lesson in researching our options and digging for that information that no one is going to spoon-feed us. The whole process has left me wondering why we didn't get ABA for Reiss much sooner - at any cost or inconvenience or whatever. But I know the answer to that - I just didn't put up enough of a fight.

And while the ABA is costing us an arm and a leg, even with insurance coverage, that sanity isn't something one can put a pricetag on.

I can just see the commercial for ABA....

Autism: Your child's ability to develop "normally" out the window.
Effects autism has on a family: Feelings of isolation and lack of others who understand and can relate.
Treatments for autism: More money than any average person makes in a year.
ABA: Too darn much.
Getting one's sanity back after ABA: Priceless.

Are you wearing BLUE today?

2010-04-02T10:55:00.003-05:00

If you are wearing blue today, your choice of attire may have been determined by one of a few things:

You are a basketball fan and are rooting for one of your favorite teams in the NCAA Final Four by wearing their colors.
You work at Best Buy and your "choice" was not a choice at all for you.
You are a smurf, and again, have no choice but to wear blue.
It is the color that popped out and said "Wear me!" this morning when you dragged yourself into the closet from the shower.
You are wearing blue for World Autism Awareness Day.

Or, possibly, you are simply wearing blue for another reason. Even if you are not wearing blue, I'd like to bring to the attention of anyone reading who is not already aware that April is Autism Awareness Month and today, April 2nd, is World Autism Awareness Day. In honor of today, many people are wearing blue, although, I have also heard of wearing purple on this day as well.

If you read this blog very often at all or if you know me, you know Autism Speaks is not at the top of my list of favorite charities doing work for autism and if you know me even better, you know why that is the case. But having said that, I would like to share a site sponsored by Autism Speaks called Light It Up Blue. Check it out - I think you will agree, the photos are spectacular and some are downright inspiring, even if many of the goals of Autism Speaks are different than my own.

Last Day of Pepsi Refresh Project

2010-03-31T09:40:00.007-05:00

Today is the last day to vote on the Pepsi Refresh Project. My votes have gone to The Tommy Foundation and their proposed film, United States of Autism. I encourage all of you to do the same and to be a part of helping to educate millions on how autism affects not just the afflicted individuals, but so many of those around them as well.

On behalf of many other parents of children with autism, thank you in advance!!!

She Always Says Exactly What I'm Thinking...

2010-03-29T21:25:00.003-05:00

And I like how she comes right out and says she is not telling people what to do with their own children and vaccines because that is the same thing I tell others.

Vaccinate or don't vaccinate - it is each parent's choice. All I ask is that people do not make the same mistake I did and blindly trust their pediatricians. Educate yourselves, people!

Do not count on your doctor being informed about vaccines. Ask your doctor how much time was spent in medical school learning about vaccines. You will be surprised. My child's doctor actually told me vaccines do not contain any of the toxins that I now know very well are contained in them.

Just last week, I informed the wife of a pharmaceutical company employee about toxins in vaccines that she said she was told were not in them. If a doctor and a pharmaceutical employee - one who works for a company that does manufacture vaccines - don't even know aluminum, thimerosal, and formaldehyde are in vaccines, then I suspect the average person doesn't know it either or simply chooses not to believe it. And in that case, I invite you to visit the CDC's website and see for yourself what kinds of ingredients are indeed in vaccines.

Part 1.....

Part 2.....

Merck, Re: Gardasil - "Safer Than Most Vaccines"

2010-03-24T08:40:00.003-05:00

Really?????

If you watch the entire clip above, you will see where Merck (manufacturer of the Gardasil vaccine) and the CDC (Centers for Disease Control) are quoted as stating Gardasil "appears safer than most vaccines."

Really? Seriously?

I wonder if these idiots understand how much more they are implicating themselves simply by attempting to defend their position and their (Merck's) product. Because here's what I'm thinking....

Besides Gardasil, Merck also manufactures several other vaccines, including a few different vaccines for Hepatitis A and B and their MMR vaccines, which are some of the world's most widely distributed vaccines. So when Merck states their Gardasil vaccine is "safer than most vaccines" are they also stating that the Gardasil vax is safer than their own vaccines meant to prevent diseases other than HPV?

And who wants a vaccine that is "safer than most vaccines?" I want vaccines that are safe. Period. However, since such a thing does not exist that is safe for everyone, quit trying to defend yourself, Merck. Admit that you could possibly be at fault in vaccine injuries.

Oh wait, you already admitted it. You did it when you said your Gardasil vaccine is "safer than most vaccines."

(Thank you, You-know-who, for posting this to your facebook page!)

No, I Have Not Gone Missing In Action

2010-03-17T16:11:00.006-05:00

But one might thing so considering this is the longest stint I've gone without posting something since I began blogging last year.

Wherever shall I begin? So much has gone on in the last few weeks that I barely remember a lot of it. I suppose I will just begin with the most exciting parts.

Yesterday we started ABA with Reiss!!!!! Yes, this is very exciting news and hence, the exclamation points. It is not only exciting because of the spectacular results we have seen in only two days of therapy, but also because we have been waiting for what seems like an eternity for the therapy itself to begin. Long story short, we went with a BCBA (Board Certified Behavior Analyst) who used to work in an ABA center and then left the center to go out on her own and create in-home ABA therapy programs for children. Because she is relatively new to being out on her own, she is still building up her group of therapists she employs to go out and do the actual therapies.

Today was Day 2 and already I feel like I have learned so much simply by giving all control to the therapists and watching how they handle particular situations. Last night was probably the most "normal" evening we have had since Reiss was born. We sat. We ate dinner. Everyone was calm. I actually feel like it may be the first time I was able to relax in close to five years. And breathe.......I got to breathe without feeling like the weight of the world was on my shoulders from caring for a child who can go from zero to all-out ear-piercing repetitive screaming in 4 milliseconds.

For the first time ever, Reiss is saying "I'm sorry" when he does something wrong, like screaming at someone for no reason. Granted, he does have to be prompted to say it and he does hesitate but he's doing it! And without having to be carried kicking, hitting, screaming, and biting on the way to the timeout chair to sit for a spell for not doing as he is told.

All of it is just totally amazing! It's like a friend of mine says, "I don't know what they're doing but it WORKS!" Actually, I do understand what they are doing and much of it seems so simple, it is like we have been doing much of it all along - now it's simply in a more organized and purposeful way. Needless to say, I think this is going to be a very good thing for Reiss and our entire family.

So much more has happened around here but I really must figure out what to have for dinner besides roast. Until next time.....

Where ARE You, Supernanny???

2010-03-05T15:11:00.003-06:00

Today has been one of those days where the suggestion of having a lock on the outside of my son's door no longer seems like a joke amongst a group of moms discussing their children but like a really great idea.

Not so long ago, Reiss and Milla and I used to go to a group gathering on Friday mornings at a local church. All the mothers would share some fellowship while our children played in an adjoining room. Quite often the conversation would turn to discussing our children and the funny things they had done recently and sometimes the not-so-funny problems of disciplining children. A few of these moms told me, in all seriousness, that they had switched the door handles on their child's room to make it so the lock was on the outside of the door. I used to laugh at such a notion....

No more.

ABA therapy cannot begin soon enough for us. I was hoping it would have already begun but unfortunately, we do not have enough therapists lined up yet. Actually, there's a little more to it than that but that's the long and short of it. We should be up and running within the next two weeks. If not, my sanity may not last.

Some days we have these really great days and then other days are just maddening beyond belief. We have already started going to a social skills group associated with the ABA group we are using and Reiss does really awesome there and pays attention fairly well to the other kids' therapists who take charge of the group. Once we are up and running with our own in-home ABA program, our therapist will go with us to the group as well. Until then, I take Reiss and Milla and he has to do what the other therapists tell him to do.

Yesterday was quite interesting. We went to the social skills group. Reiss behaved pretty well but did have his moments of non-compliance. When he gets a timeout with the ABA therapists, he is generally very compliant and does his "time for the crime." Overall, yesterday was no different, with the exception of one instance where Reiss put up a bit of a fuss before his timeout. The therapist wasn't having it and seconds later, Reiss was sitting quietly in a timeout.

Fast forward to about an hour later when we got home and he did something to get a timeout here and being the observer I've learned very quickly to be, I did everything exactly as the ABA therapists, only to be met with a four-year-old putting up a fight equivocal to that of maybe someone three times his size just getting him over to the designated timeout area.

Seriously, I don't understand what I am doing wrong. I can do everything exactly the same (or, at least, I'm pretty certain it's exactly the same) as the ABA therapists, even down to the detail of showing no emotion. However, what works like magic for them most often results in kicking, screaming, pinching, hitting, and total lack of cooperation to sit in the timeout area. Reiss will sit quietly in a timeout for therapists and for his teacher at school a lot of times, yet I can't even get him to stay in the same place in a timeout when restrained in a booster seat. The only way to keep him in one place for a timeout at home is to put him in a booster seat that has buckles on it and also to restrain the booster seat to something else so that it cannot move. We have, well had - we need to refasten the straps - our booster seat sitting on the floor for safety and strapped to the posts that make up the railing around our stairs leading to the basement.

If it doesn't sound safe, I can assure you it is safe. There is no way Reiss can fall over, strangle himself, fall down the stairs, or whatever else anyone may be thinking. And just a note for anyone who may be thinking of calling Child Protective Services on me, I've checked, this is not only safe but actually what is recommended for keeping a child safe during a period of timeout.

I just keep thinking if my sanity can last until the ABA begins, we will all be fine. Reiss took non-compliance to a new level today. He peed in his pants twice. He pooped in his pants three times. He went through several pairs of pants and then fussed and complained and harassed me endlessly for two hours about how he has no pants that fit him. His ideal pants are Goodwill purhased, been through who knows how many children, faded beyond belief jeans....or home pants, as he calls them.

Now, I have nothing against secondhand clothes - they are practically all I grew up with and I still continue to buy from Goodwill occasionally when I can find something I like. However, for Reiss to say that he has no pants that fit him is simply ludicrous considering the fact that his size 4 and size 5 wardrobe has been complete since before he was even three years old, due to the fact that I exclusively buy him Gymboree clothing when it is out of season and on clearance and during Gymbucks earning and redemption periods and with coupons and using my Gymboree Visa and Gymboree Rewards program and on and on and on.....my method for getting Gymboree clothes for next to no money out of pocket is a whole 'nother post all its own and I won't bore anyone with that sort of thing today.

Needless to say, it breaks my heart when I see several pairs of excellent quality size 4 Gymboree jeans with those little marked down pricetags still hanging from them getting pushed to the far reaches of Reiss's closet all while he complains about having no home pants clean because all his crappy Goodwill jeans that cost more than the Gymboree jeans are dirty because he either pooped or peed in them.

And all this going on while Milla is trying to take a nap and keeping him at a low roar is like getting an elephant to tread lightly on a glass roof....

So going back to my original question....

Where ARE you, Supernanny???

Of all the lucrative ideas people have come up with to swindle parents of children with autism out of their dwindling financial resources, why hasn't someone come up with the idea of being a Supernanny-type professional exclusively for children with autism? Now that would be someone I would hire...

And The World Stopped......

2010-03-02T07:27:00.002-06:00

Lin (Linda) Wessels is a friend of mine on facebook. Her son, Sam, has autism and, just like I am, Lin is an "autism mom." Her family's story is about to be told to the world in the form of a documentary being made by the United States of Autism.

You can read a small tidbit about her family in THIS article with KPTH Fox News. I love the phrase mentioned in the article that Lin used to describe the world from where she was sitting when she received Sam's diagnosis: "...we have your diagnosis and it is autism. And the world stopped..."

Because that is exactly what happens when your child receives an autism diagnosis. The world stops spinning and your whole life becomes a marathon of what-can-I-do-to-help-my-child? Autism doesn't sleep (literally and figuratively, with a lot of children!) and it doesn't take a break or a vacation. It creeps into every single aspect of life in not only the child with autism, but into the lives of his or her family. I wish I could explain this to people so they understand because it is not something anyone can even fathom until they walk down that road.

Enough of my blathering.....go VOTE. And if you are wondering what I mean when I tell you to go vote, first go read the article....then VOTE!!!!

GFCF Hot & Steamy Chocolate Silk

2010-02-25T14:07:00.003-06:00

After a particularly cold jaunt to the great outdoors with my never-affected-by-the-freezing-temperatures four-year-old, I was able to persuade him to come in with the promise of getting to assist me with making hot cocoa from scratch.

Never in a million years did I think our attempt at throwing a few ingredients together would result in something so yummy, but the end product was a drink so rich and creamy smooth, it was like drinking chocolate silk. If hot cocoa can possibly be thought of as sexy, this stuff was Robert Redford, Denzel Washington, George Clooney, and Brad Pitt (or whomever floats your boat) all wrapped into a cup of hot and steamy relief from a half-hour spent out in bone-chilling windy tundra-like temperatures. Okay, I'm exaggerating, as usual, but in my defense, it is February. In Indiana. And I am done with winter.

So to cut to it, the following is what we concocted:

4-5 ounces filtered water
4-5 ounces coconut milk (not coconut oil or coconut cream)
2 tablespoons Sun Crystals (or sugar or sweetener of your choice to taste)
3 heaping teaspoons unsweetened cocoa powder
1/2 - 1 teaspoon gluten-free vanilla
dash of salt

Mix the water and coconut milk together in a mug and microwave until desired temp. Mix sweetener of choice, cocoa powder, and salt together in separate small bowl. Mix both mixtures together and stir in vanilla. Stir until all the cocoa powder mixture is blended well into the liquid.

Enjoy!

IEP's, Dinner For Dummies, and Other Ramblings

2010-02-23T15:04:00.006-06:00

This evening my husband and I have a meeting to go to regarding the ABA center we are helping another couple get started. Actually, that makes it sound like we are playing some major role in the opening of a fabulous ABA facility but in reality, all we are doing is providing word of mouth to others in the autism community and a place for the couple to hold their presentations to get families interested in their center.

I'm very excited about it all but I'm also very tired. We have been going and going and going for around two weeks now and I just want a nap.

This morning was Reiss's case conference for his IEP and I gotta say, it wasn't nearly as bad as some of the nightmare stories I hear from friends who go in with a "team" of people ready to do battle. Of course, I don't have the same problems many of them have. We do have problems with Reiss running out of the classroom on occasion but luckily, it has not been out the door leading to the parking lot, but rather, the door leading out of his classroom and into the hall. We don't have problems - that I am aware of - with his teacher or aides giving him food that is not on his diet. And since we provide a box of snacks for him from home, they would have no reason to do so. We don't have problems with unfair punishments or have to deal with forms of discipline that some consider torture like so many parents of children with autism have to read about. Yes, it really happens...just look HERE if you don't believe me. By the way, that particular school system is notorious for incidents with their students in special services classrooms. Not long ago they also had one little girl with autism who was bitten in the classroom and force fed. I am, however, too lazy to go dig up a link for that as well though. So have at it, go Google yourself silly if you so desire.

Anyway, the only changes we made were to have Reiss's IEP written to include his dietary guidelines and his Diastat injector - just in case of another seizure - under the Health guidelines section. Because they have been having some behavioral problems in the classroom recently, there were also some behavioral modification plans made to accommodate for when Reiss fully rejects their current form of discipline, which is a combination of popsicle stick pocket pulls, 1-2-3 Magic, and timeouts. It sounds like a lot but it's basically 1-2-3 Magic adapted to a classroom setting. His teacher feels it is only effective for him a small part of the time and we will soon need to move on. It's amazing how this is exactly what she told me usually happens around mid-way through the year with the majority of the children, and although this is a little past midway, she was exactly right.

Moving on...

Today I made muffins. THIS is the recipe I used, as I often do. This recipe should have been more aptly name No-Fail Muffins or Muffins for Morons because it is so darn adaptable. These muffins simply cannot go wrong. They call for applesauce but I have also substituted the applesauce with bananas, zucchini, squash, and pumpkin, all with spectacular results. Today's applesauce sub was zucchini. They're so well-packed with good fats, proteins, and fiber that I don't even have an inkling of remorse serving these for a meal with a little fruit or something on the side. Because we have to get dinner on the table and out the door in a hurry this evening, we are having these muffins, some bacon, and whatever fruit we have on hand. I think there are some pears and apples that need to get gone, as well as some kiwis that Reiss will probably hoard all to himself.

Today we had carpet installed in our bedroom. I know, I know - don't tell me about all the harmful crap they put in that stuff. We purchased this carpet around a year ago when we had just begun making dietary changes, getting chemicals out of the house (we're still working on that one!), and frankly, we were just plain ignorant. If I knew then what I know now, we would have gone with running the wood laminate floors on into the bedroom or gone with a "green" carpet free of chemicals. What's the saying? Hindsight is 20/20 and considering the expense, it's not something we were going to just cut our losses and chalk up to experience.

After nearly a year straight of off and on (a lot of "on") people working on this or that in our house, I am ready to take a break. I am ready to close our doors and not have anyone work for us anytime soon. Ironically, we are getting ready to start our in-home ABA program and there will be people in and out of here every single day and for even more hours than all the remodeling projects put together but at least these are people working on a totally different aspect of our lives and not on our house and leaving messes in their wake when they leave for the day.

Thankfully, you can barely tell anymore that this is a 1974-built house. Other than the main bathroom, every room on this floor has been totally updated or had major modifications made to it to bring it into this decade from a decorative standpoint.

These monkeys are waking up from a nap. Reiss conked out on the chair in here during a phone call I was on earlier and Milla is on the couch. If you have read this far and are not bored to tears, I'm not sure whether to applaud your ability to focus or feel sorrow that you must have a really boring life that you could find my ramblings and my own mundane life ventures entertaining. At any rate, thank you for reading and leave a comment if you feel so inclined - I do read them and very much appreciate them, even if I don't acknowledge them as often as I would like.

And On A More Positive Note....

2010-02-18T15:22:00.010-06:00

It felt good to vent a bit on Tuesday but lest anyone think all I do is complain about autism, I figure anyone spending any amount of their time reading my blog deserves to hear some good news as well. You know, to equal things out. Here are some of the breakthroughs we have witnessed with Reiss over the last (nearly) year and a half since we began dietary restrictions and supplements:

Regarding speech......
Although Reiss has been quite verbal since beginning communication with speech as a toddler, his speech wasn't always functional. His speech seemed a tad delayed, then it took off, and then he started losing some of it. At around eighteen months of age, he used to do the cutest thing. He would say, "Awesome!" and do a little fist pump into the air. Soon after, he stopped doing it. As the months passed, this wasn't the only thing he lost, it was simply the most memorable.

Reiss wouldn't talk a whole lot except to repeat things. Engaging in a conversation with him was non-existent. He had a lot of repetitive speech (echolalia). He had pronomial confusion - he confused I, you, me, and the possessive forms as well. For example, he might have said, "You want the waffle." but what he really meant was that he wanted the waffle. He could not answer a simple "yes" or "no" question, nor any type of who, what, when, why, or where questions. And he definitely couldn't ask any questions. At all. We never went through the "Why? Why? Why?" phase with Reiss that most parents complain about with their children during the toddler years.

The way it was explained to us by the special services school officials who evaluated Reiss for entrance into developmental preschool, many of these kids don't even understand that a question is being asked and that a response is expected. It doesn't matter that a typical person changes the inflection when asking a question, children with autism many times just don't understand. And that explains why I used to have to tell Reiss "I need a yes or a no, please." when asking him that type of question. Still, often times, he would reply with whatever pleased him and not necessarily the correct answer. I think he knew I was getting frustrated and he was just as frustrated and figured any answer would shut me up.

If something hurt, Reiss could not tell us it hurt. He could not tell us what happened if something got hurt when we had our heads turned and didn't see him fall or bump his head or stub his toe. One can only imagine how frustrating and heartbreaking it was when Reiss, at 28 months old and on the day before I was scheduled to have a c-section for Milla, hurt his leg going down a slide and couldn't walk. We knew something was wrong with his leg but he couldn't tell us exactly where it hurt. Pointing to things to try to find the source of pain was, well, pointless. We would point to his ankle and ask if it hurt and he would nod his head. We would point to his knee and ask if it hurt and he would nod his head. We would then point to say, his nose and ask if it hurt and once again, he would nod his head. That entire incident was about $3000 worth of medical bills and a leg cast for several weeks, only to be told by the doctors that they were certain his leg was not broken but otherwise, had no clue why he would/could not walk on it. (And people wonder why I have so little faith in the majority of medical professionals. This is only one example of why, but I promise, I'll save that tangent for another day.) Within a few days of getting the cast, Reiss was walking again but still couldn't tell us what hurt.

After only a few weeks of being on a gluten-free, casein-free diet, Reiss's language in terms of functionality grew by leaps and bounds. He was answering questions more and more as the days passed. He seemed to better understand the dynamics of speech and how it could get him what he wanted. There are times when Reiss still has some issues with holding a conversation but he can certainly answer just about any type of question now. "Why" questions seem to be the most difficult for him but he will sometimes make up an answer - even if an illogical one. If it means I get an answer when I ask a question, rather than a blank stare, I'll take it!

Regarding sensory hyper-sensitivity.....
My most vivid memories of Reiss having hyper-sensitive senses are of the many, many months where he would just bawl his little eyes out if the phone rang. The vacuum cleaner seemed to be torturous to him. If a door was closed, not even slammed, the poor little guy was ready to jump out of his skin. He would stare at lights and giggle. Car rides were painful...for everyone involved. A simple ten minute ride from Point A to Point B almost always ended in an hour of trying to console our poor baby. We didn't know then that all of these were exactly what they seemed to be for him: way too much sensory overload for him to handle. I remember a particular family member chastising me for keeping the phone off the hook during naptimes and also for not wanting to go anywhere that required a long (in which, "long" consisted of anything more than fifteen minutes) drive. I was told, "Well, he needs to get used to it!" as if forcing him into these situations of enduring the phone ringing or riding around in the car or whatever else would somehow eventually ease the real pain going on in his little body.

Reiss did begin to very, very slowly outgrow most of these things but still, until we began dietary changes, rides in the car were not fun for anyone and the pain of hearing the vacuum cleaner was just simply too much for him. These days, Reiss loves to run the vacuum cleaner himself. Car rides are much easier, although I cannot say they are much quieter. However, the difference now is that it's a more joyful noise on most occasions.

Regarding sleep.....
Most people don't believe me when I tell them about Reiss's sleeping habits as a baby and on into toddler-hood. Occasionally, even other parents of children with autism don't believe me because sleep was not an issue with their child with ASD. But here it is and it is the honest to God's truth and it takes another parent who has been through it to fully comprehend that it really can be this bad.

Having been in the military and gone through Basic Training, I thought I knew sleep deprivation. Until Reiss came along though, I was clueless. Reiss never slept through the night until he was three-and-a-half years old. No, really, I'm serious - not ever, not even one time. And yes, I'm aware that the so-called experts consider six hours of straight sleep for an infant is considered "sleeping through the night." As a baby and up until he was around nine months old, Reiss would wake every fifteen to forty-five minutes, all through the night. I remember telling people this and they would think I was exaggerating. I always got the ol' "It will get better in a few months." answer. But it didn't get better. And of course they thought I was exaggerating - that simply is not a typical sleep pattern for an infant. But I didn't know that then. Well, I did know that but everyone told me I must be exaggerating so naturally, I just thought that it must be that bad with all infants and I was just being a wimpy new mommy. I also remember thinking that I didn't know why anyone would ever want more than one child. How would they ever get any sleep again?

Around the time Reiss was eight or nine months old and I was nearing the end of my rope due to total and complete sleep deprivation, I decided to let Reiss co-sleep with us. Co-sleeping improved his sleep habits but they were still very poor for a child of nine months. By then, he was still waking just about every hour. There were times when he didn't wake but he would laugh hysterically in his sleep. (You parents of children with autism, you know what I'm talking about and you also know that it probably seemed cute and adorable at one time but is now a nightmare come true if your child still does it.) If I was able to drop-off into a deep sleep for only two hours before he woke, I considered myself extremely lucky.

Reiss's constant waking continued for months and months. And years. He had begun sleeping in a toddler bed but was still waking quite often and many times in a state of ear-piercing screams and was unable to be consoled. Sometimes the "waking" when he was screaming those horrible screams was not him waking, but most likely night terrors, in which he was still technically asleep.

If you don't believe what I told you about Reiss's sleep habits before we began a GFCF (gluten-free, casein-free) diet, you almost certainly won't believe what happened after we began eating this way. The very first night after eating this way for an entire day, Reiss slept through the night, all night, without a single wakeup. I knew this diet was going to be a real pain for us and it created even more challenges of its own (as if we didn't already have enough things working against us), but it was that one thing - Reiss sleeping through the night after three and a half years of life and never having done so even one time - that convinced me that we had to keep on with this diet and at least make an attempt at improving the other troublesome symptoms Reiss exhibited.

Regarding stimming (self-stimulatory behaviors).......
Reiss exhibited many of the stereotypical stimming behaviors in autistic children. He toe-walked. At the time, I didn't know this was one of the signs of autism. Although not to the extent of many children with more severe autism, he flapped his arms. I didn't know that was one of the signs of autism either. He would spin in circles, sometimes with his hands at his sides and at other times, with them held out at shoulder level. I didn't know that was a sign of autism. He would lie on the floor, literally for hours on end rolling a truck back and forth, back and forth (to a point where he would throw a tantrum if we needed to leave the house or transition to doing something besides rolling that darn truck). I didn't know he was stimulating his visual sense by watching the wheels spin. I also didn't know that was another sign of autism. He had to have his shoes on all the time. And I mean all the time - even to bed at night. He would throw a fit if even one drop of water got on his shirt. He would get bent out of shape if his fork and plate sitting in front of him were accidentally bumped and moved just millimeters. All of these quirks, stims - whatever you want to call them - are signs of autism, yet every single one of these behaviors was dismissed as being normal toddler behavior when we brought them to the attention of our family doctor. We would tell our friends and family about our concerns and not once did anyone ever tell us that these are all signs of autism. We were always encouraged to believe these were all normal behaviors for a toddler. But we knew...we just knew something wasn't right.

We began treating Reiss with diet and supplements before he was diagnosed with autism (but WE had known for a long time!). His stimming behaviors began dissipating immediately. Occasionally - but not very often - we will see Reiss spinning in circles but it's a different kind of spinning. I know that sounds strange and I don't know how to explain it, but it's true. We do not see any of the other behaviors on a regular basis anymore. Sometimes Reiss wants to get water on his shirt. Other times he doesn't even want one drop of it near him. But having said that, it's not like it used to be where he was consistent with throwing a tantrum every single time his shirt inadvertantly came into contact with a drop of water.

As you can see from my post on Tuesday, we still have many of the tantrums and undesirable behaviors but we are learning and working and researching and tweaking this way of life of dietary restrictions and supplements, with the help of Reiss's DAN! doctor, to find what works to solve his problems and what does not work for him, as an individual. Overall, I think Reiss has come a long, LONG way in only a little over a year. I know of a few parents who would consider the improvements he has shown as nothing but miraculous. My husband and I accredit all of it to dietary restrictions, supplementation, and DAN! protocol. I hate to think of where we would be and the greater number of frustrations we would have if we had not at least given a try with this method of treatment.

Regarding ATEC Scores.......
I saved this part for last because I can go on and on and on all day long about how well I think Reiss has progressed and how much my husband and I attribute all of that progress to diet and supplements but it means nothing to most people if it's not coming from the mouth of a professional working in the field of autism.

ATEC stands for "Autism Treatment Evaluation Checklist." An ATEC score determines a child's autism severity level. The higher the score, the more severe the autism is in the child. The lower the score, the more mild the autism is in the child. An ATEC score of 180 is the maximum, with the higher scores indicating severe autism in the child. It is only at a score of less than 50 that it is determined the child may have some success of leading a semi-independent life as an adult. At a score of around 30, the chances that the child may grow up to lead an independent become better. Many times when the score drops below 20, the child loses his autism diagnosis and behaves like any typical child.

When we first began seeing a special doctor for Reiss's autism, which was around three months into using dietary intervention and beginning supplements, Reiss's ATEC score was in the mid-eighties - simply put, his autism was moderately severe. I have to wonder how much higher it was before we even began dietary restrictions because I know by three months in, he had already improved quite drastically. Now, close to one year after our first ATEC scoring and almost a year and a half into changing his diet and adding in many supplements, Reiss received an ATEC score of 37 just two weeks ago. If that's not testimony enough as to the success of dietary invention and vitamin supplementation in children with autism, I don't know what is!

I can't wait to get started with ABA therapy as well, as it is one of the only therapies known to have a proven success rate in helping children with autism. It is also the only therapy that is recommended and supported by the Surgeon General (not that that means anything to me, but I'm sure it may mean something to others who are more trusting of those who are in charge of medical policy in this country) in developing abilities in children with ASD.

Do I think our way is the only way? Of course not. All of these children with autism are so different. After all, what may work for one child with autism, may not work for another. But I will say this, every single book and recovery success story I have read in regards to healing children of autism has always involved dietary intervention and ABA therapy. I think we are close to recovery with dietary intervention. I want to be even closer....

Next step, ABA. And it starts next week.

Because ONE Day Would Just Be Too Much To Ask....

2010-02-16T14:41:00.005-06:00

I admit it. I envy parents of typical children. I envy how seemingly easy it is for most of them to just pack up the kids, pack up the car, and go out for a day of fun. I envy how they can think nothing of going to a movie their child has wanted to see or a restaurant for a special family dinner or heck, even just to the post office to mail a package.

I feel like my family's life is all about just wanting ONE day of knowing what it's like to have typical children. One day where we don't have to deal with autism. One day where I can look back at the end of the day and think "Wow, this must be what it's like to be a regular family." But apparently, one day like that is just too much to ask because I'm still waiting for it.

Packing up the kids and packing up the car for a day of fun (and I use the term "fun" very loosely because most of these outings for us consist mainly of chaos control and tantrum prevention) does not happen very often for us. Doing so means packing up food that fits our specialized diet, making sure we have enough clothes changes should we have any "accidents" with a child who would probably be potty-trained by this age, if he was a neurotypical. Don't get me wrong...I know it's not his fault he has autism and I do know we are lucky that he is "mostly" potty-trained, considering I have friends whose children with autism are seven, eight, nine years old and older who still wear diapers.

My kids do not watch tv so going to a movie is out of the question. It's not that we do not allow tv viewing in our home, they simply have no interest and no attention span to sit still for watching tv. Ask a typical child who their favorite cartoon character is and immediately they will spout off some silly Disney or Nickelodeon character. Ask my children who their favorite cartoon characters are and they will stare blankly, not even knowing what you're talking about.

Going to a restaurant? Ha! First of all, my children can't eat most of what is served in restaurants and again, there's the won't-sit-still factor. We could take our own food but then we have to talk to the manager of the restaurant. Then there's dealing with Reiss who has that wonderful aspect of autism that involves rigidity to sameness (although he uses this selectively, as you'll read later about fits involving me and giving him what I think he wants at the time) gets bent out of shape if his plate looks any different than Daddy's plate, so James can't really eat the food offered in the restaurant either unless we sit there with the whole restaurant patronage looking at us while our child throws a fit.

Going to the post office isn't impossible but it's no walk in the park. Typically, I try to do this, when needed, when Reiss is in preschool. Until about two months ago, Reiss hadn't even been in a post office for almost two years. I simply didn't want to deal with it.

Am I complaining? Yes, actually, I am and I'm not afraid to admit it. I'm not blaming anyone or blaming my child but yes, I am complaining. I get tired of all the challenges of autism and how it invades every aspect of our entire lives. Although I don't really pay attention anymore to the stares out in public, I do still get tired of them.

I get tired of every single day, nearly every waking moment being a challenge.

I am tired of politicians in high places cutting funds for services (i.e respite care....can I get a "Hell, yeah!" from those of you who know what I'm talking about???) families like mine desperately need and then offloading billions to people who have entered my country illegally. Yeah, I said it!

I am tired of trying what all the behavior "experts" whose clients are parents of typical children say to do for behavior modification and it not working with my child. I wish all these "experts" would walk a day in my shoes and understand that their Supernanny methods, 1-2-3 Magic, positive reinforcement, giving choices, and just about everything else imaginable doesn't always work with children with autism the way they swear it does with typical children. While all those are good methods and we have had limited success with each of them, the fact still remains that children like mine are wired differently. It's not just me saying this - it truly is a fact. Even my child's own preschool teacher understands that none of these methods will work consistently and for very long with a child with autism. So why don't these professionals who are getting paid multiple times more than her seem to get that?

I get tired of being judged for everything - how I handle situations with my children, the way I feed them, the treatments I choose to work towards recovering my children from autism, and on and on and on. Just this morning I was speaking with another mom of two boys with autism who told me her extended family swears that her sons' improvements towards recovery have nothing to do with the biomedical treatments (that are, coincidentally, very similar to the ones we use) she has been doing, but rather, her sons are simply "outgrowing" their autism. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry because we - my husband and I - have both heard things along the same lines.....

"Oh, it looks like Reiss is really starting to outgrow this..."

and

"Just give it a few years and he'll outgrow it."

I am tired of nearly every encounter with my child being a struggle. Reiss may want his pancake cut up today and then throw a ten-minute tantrum tomorrow because I cut it up. This evening I may give him a fork at dinner and then have to listen to him have a meltdown about "Why'd ya' give me a fork, Mommy?" when just yesterday he wondered why I didn't give him a fork. It's like no matter what I do, I have to think about my actions before doing them and recall what it was that made Reiss happy in the same situation ten minutes ago or this morning or yesterday and then recreate whatever made him happy, only to be met with a tantrum because this time he wanted it differently......again. Ignorant people call this being bratty. In my children, it's autism.

Yes, I'm complaining. And yes, I hate autism. And yes, I hate living in a world that's not made for people like me or my children. And yes, I am having a bad day. Yes, I would love to be one of those mothers of children with autism who just puts on a happy face all the time but that's not me. And honestly, I have a feeling that it's not really how those moms feel either......they just save their unhappiness for more private moments. I don't know of a single mom who will say they love autism or the challenges it creates.

I'm done....that's all, folks. Back to the grind and tantrums and challenges and endless paperwork for services for my children and therapies and phone calls to therapists and finding a babysitter who truly "gets" it and finding that magic combo that will ~~save me my sanity~~ improve my child's well-being.....

Mysterious Milla Meltdowns Mean No Mommy Break For Me

2010-02-11T18:36:00.007-06:00

On the second Thursday of every month (except December!) there is a women's church group meeting, called Elizabeth Ministry Gathering, that meets at the church of a few of my other mommy friends. Typically, I try to go to the meeting but have been very sporadic in those efforts the last several months. One of my goals (I'm not calling them resolutions because many of them are not "fixing" anything, but rather, efforts to simply do better in particular aspects of my life.) for 2010 is to get out more amongst other moms and also to try and attend each month's EM Gathering. I keep telling myself I need these Mommy Timeouts.

I made it to January's EM Gathering and was well on my way to making it to this evening's meeting too until a few minutes before I planned to shovel my dinner in and make my way out the door. That is when the Mysterious Milla Meltdown occurred.

Milla has meltdowns all the time (yes, I know, two-year-olds do that - so save me the "That's-totally-normal" lecture, please.) so the fact that she was having a meltdown was not out of the ordinary at all. What was strange though, was how she was conducting her tantrum. A few minutes before dinner was ready, she walked her little shirtless self into the laundry room, left the light in there turned off, closed the door, and sat down on the floor. A few minutes later she started screaming and crying. I made an attempt to go comfort her and try to bring her out but she was having none of it. She screamed when I turned the light on. She flailed when I tried to pick her up. She was not coming out of there. So I left and continued with cooking dinner.

A few minutes later, same scene, different position. Milla had gone from sitting on the floor to lying down on the cold tile floor. Let's not forget she was shirtless too, so I know she had to be cold because the laundry room connects to the door going to the garage and it gets cold, cold, cold in there.

She screamed to have the light turned off when I turned it on. She screamed answers to all my questions:

Me: Do you want anything?
Milla: NO!!!!

Me: Are you hungry?
Milla: NO!!!!

Me: Do you want to eat dinner?
Milla: NO!!!!

Me: Do you want the light on or off?
Milla: Light OOOOOOOFFFFFFFF!!!!

So I left her in there again. She would not come out for dinner. James, Reiss, and I all ate dinner without her while she sat in there letting out an occasional wail for goodness knows what reason. She didn't want to eat and we did ask several times while we, ourselves, sat, eating our own dinner.

Meanwhile, it was getting closer and closer to the time when I needed to leave to go to my EM meeting but I still planned on going. But the nervous mommy in me set in and the fear of all the "what if" scenarios would not stop nagging me. So I stayed home.

Just before all this happened, Milla had eaten part of a sucker given to her from Reiss's and her occupational therapist. Normally, we do not allow artificial dyes or flavors and we try to stay away from soy. While we are not as stringent with these things like we are with gluten and casein, we do allow exceptions occasionally. This sucker had all three of those things in it - red dye, artificial flavoring, and soy lecithin.

Now I know for people who are not familiar with this diet we are on, or for those who do know about it but do not put a whole lot of stock in it, it may sound ridiculous and downright paranoid of me to think that a little sucker would cause such a reaction in a child - or more specifically, my child. However, I have observed enough of my own kids' reactions to different foods to know that yes, something as trivial as a few licks on a Valentine's sucker can indeed induce such a reaction with one of my children.

Before I even allowed the occupational therapist to give Reiss or Milla the suckers, she volunteered the bag upfront so that I could check out the ingredients list. The list didn't have any glutenous or casein-containing ingredients on it so I said "what the heck" and made an exception, all while hearing that little voice inside tell me I shouldn't.

Next time I will listen to that little voice and maybe, just maybe, listening will result in Mommy getting a break that evening.

Lesson learned: Listen to the voices in your head.

Therapy, As An Extreme Sport

2010-02-05T02:48:00.004-06:00

Some parents overload their kids' schedules with football, soccer, softball, basketball, karate, gymnastics, dance, hockey and whatever else their children come home begging to partake in. But not me. Nope, Reiss has never begged to be in any of those things and other than the occasional passing by the tv and noticing Daddy is watching "Colts guys" - which consist of any football players, doesn't matter whether it's college, NFL, or a fictional movie like Rudy - I would venture to say he is not even aware of the existence of many types of sports.

Oh sure, we play outside quite often. We throw balls around. We get the hose out and these monkeys play and I get soaked and slightly irritated. James and I take Reiss and Milla out to the swingset and sandbox to play around for awhile. We ride our bikes. Or, more precisely, James and I ride our bikes and Reiss and Milla ride in the bike trailer. Reiss does ride his bike with training wheels but his bodily movements (kinetics, kinesthetics, neither of those are the right word. Where is the right word when I need it???) need some work and his pedalling is not fluid in motion. In summertime, quite frankly, I think Reiss could easily be persuaded into living outside if I lost all my marbles and thought it was a good idea as well. That, however, is not the case. I still have a few marbles rolling around up there and furthermore, I have no plans of chucking the house for a nest or den in the backyard woods.

Ramble, ramble, ramble....point being this: Organized sports are not something Reiss participates in at this time. Milla, well, she is definitely too young for that sort of thing just yet.

So instead of sports, we have therapies - my new pastime. Well, actually, my part in all of it is doing the research, finding the resources and professionals to carry out the therapies, waiting around (when the therapies take place in an office setting) while the therapies are being performed, and a whole lot of praying that all of it is going to result in some real and visible changes.

If my kids' therapy schedules were to be laid out in a format similar to an event program at a sporting event, it might look something like this:

Reiss:
Developmental Preschool (Preschool through the local school system for children with learning challenges)
Miss Emily, The Toy Doctor (Private Occupational Therapy)
Talking Doctor (Private Speech Therapy)
and coming soon....Applied Behavior Analysis, the in-home program version

Milla:
Miss Laura's Visit (In-home Speech Therapy through Early Intervention)
Miss Emily and Her Swing (Occupational Therapy)
Jill and Her Toybox (In-home Developmental Therapy through Early Intervention)
Miss Ashley and Her Potato Head Couple (Private Speech Therapy)

I never wanted to be a soccer mom. My friends with older children always told me to never let my children play baseball or softball because the innings are so long with children who have no skills playing and it makes the game last all day. No mother wants to be this kind of mother: the Therapy Mom.

But that is exactly what I have become.

The silver lining to this storm-sized cloud though, is that I have already seen improvements in both children in just the two short weeks from when we began with Reiss only being in preschool and Milla only receiving in-home speech therapy. Reiss actually wants to go to the "toy doctor." Milla is using "I" phrases more in place of her usual "me" demands. They are both gaining exposure to adults outside of their usual regimen of Daddy, Mommy, teachers, and occasional grandparent visits.

Now, If I could just get more of their appointments in sync with one another, I could possibly become that mom I have wanted to become for a very long time: The Bookworm Mom. Oh, how I miss reading. Reading, that is, during daylight hours and not at three in the morning because I am awake worrying about all I didn't get done the day before or all that needs to be done in a few short hours or wondering if today will be the day that Reiss goes poop on the potty again and not in his pants or how I could have handled things the day before when tempers started tantrum-ing or hoping to find peace in the hours that will follow when one or both children are not behaving in a most desirable way or......or......or.................blah, blah, blah.

In my case, perhaps the title of "Therapy Mom" should also mean some of it for myself as well.

Congratulations, Trish!!!

2010-02-01T18:26:00.002-06:00

Trish over at Another Piece of the Puzzle is the winner of the A Child's Journey Out of Autism.

Congratulations, Trish! Enjoy this book - I know you will.

Happy Belated Blogiversary To Me!

2010-01-25T15:18:00.004-06:00

And to celebrate, I am doing another giveaway!

It was around this time last year that I began blogging about my family's life, the challenges of having a child with autism, and on many occasions, about nothing in particular. In the year that has passed, I have read several books on autism, treatments for it, and the stories of other parents and their trials in raising a child with autism. Some of the books have been so-so. Others I finished with an attitude of wanting to change the world, or at the very least, make it a much better place for my child and his needs.

The book that has captivated my attention and influenced me like no other is A Child's Journey Out of Autism by Leeann Whiffen. Although it is a story about one particular family's journey into and out of autism - and not a reference book for treatment options like many others I have read - it is definitely a book I know I will refer back to quite often for years to come.

With that said, I am offering a new copy (not mine! Mine is dog-eared and highlighted and well-loved.) of A Child's Journey Out of Autism as a blogiversary gift from me to whomever wins.

To enter this giveaway, please read carefully:

1. Giveaway entries will be received by emailing your street address and blog address to pnewlin@prodigy.net by January 31st. Entries received after January 31st will not be valid.
2. Please put "Blog Giveaway" in the subject line of your message.
3. If you would like to increase your chance of winning by receiving two entries into the giveaway, please leave a comment on this post in addition to sending an email to me.

We REALLY Do Learn Something New....

2010-01-21T23:25:00.007-06:00

every single day.

And I, for one, am amazed at all that I learned today! Here is what I remember of it all:

There is a medical treatment called glutathione IV therapy that has been used for several years in treating patients with Parkinson's Disease. My apologies for the use of the words "several years" but no amount of Googling on my part resulted in a concrete and certain year in which doctors began using such treatment for Parkinson's or any other disease, for that matter.

Because of glutathione's super-antioxidant powers in restoring balance to the various chemicals in the brain and its abilities in aiding chelation of heavy metals out of the human body, glutathione IV therapy has caught the attention of doctors who treat autism by means of biomedical treatments and it has become quite popular in the last few years. All of this totally makes sense, as any family doctor or pediatrician even worth speaking to now knows to no longer advise parents to give Tylenol or any acetaminophen-containing drug to a child just prior to vaccinations due to the fact that it is a glutathione-depleting substance. And when you deplete gluathione, you compromise the immune system. And when you compromise the immune system, you invite heavy metals to make themselves at home in the human body. Not a good thing.

I won't even get started on the vaccines themselves. But hey, suffice it to say that whether or not you believe vaccinations play a role in certain children's autism, if you are a parent who is still vaccinating your child, Tylenol is not something to give your child before going to your pediatrician's office for his or her ~~weekly~~ ~~monthly~~ routine jabs. I'm just sayin'.

To learn more about glutathione therapy in children with autism, go to Autism Recovery Treatment. If you would like to learn more about how destructive acetaminophen is to your child's immune system or if you just plain don't believe me on this, go to The Glutathione Experts where you can find article after article detailing studies conducted on the effects present when glutathione and acetaminophen do a dance.

More autism-related stuff. What can I say....I talk to a lot of parents of children with autism on a daily basis and I also spend a lot of time poking around online checking out things. Sometimes it applies to our situation. Sometimes not.

Today I learned a little about hyperlexia. I had heard of it before. Didn't know much about it. Apparently, one of my autism friends' son has a diagnosis of hyperlexia. Simply put, the kid was able to read at two-and-a-half years old. Pretty amazing, huh? That's all I got. Wanna know more? Let Wikipedia explain it to you.

Let's talk about veggies, shall we?

I have never in my life eaten celery root. Well, not that I am aware of, anyway. Don't know what it tastes like. Wouldn't know how to prepare it to save my life. But....I hear it's really good. So next time I see it as an option for my Farm Fresh delivery, I will get some and then I will go to Allrecipes or Recipezaar and figure out what to do with my little veggie treasure.

And on to something totally off the wall....

A child's gender awareness begins in the first year of life. Gender awareness is how a child sees himself or herself, as in, as a boy or a girl. Other than these simple facts, I am totally ignorant regarding trans-gender facts and lingo. If you would like to learn more, check out TransYouth Family Allies. Don't even ask how I came about this information in the strange passing of my day today...it's a long story and this has been a long day.

Oh wait, I mean yesterday. I'm only two hours into this day.

And last but certainly not soon-forgotten, yesterday I learned that if I sway my arms as though I am pretending to be a bird or an airplane, Reiss says that it means "slow-motion." Because Miss Julie said so.

If you are reading this, I hope I haven't put you to sleep but that is exactly what I should be doing so....buh-bye!

So Totally Unrelated to Autism....

2010-01-15T14:16:00.005-06:00

or my family, but here is a fascinating read, nonetheless.

Actually, with the increasing resourcefulness Al Qaeda is demonstrating and its far-reaching effects on the rest of the world, maybe this isn't so totally unrelated to my family. Maybe it does affect me and my loved ones more than I care to think but for now, I'll just pretend I live in a world where....

...the streams flow cleanly and are as transparent as glass.
...the air is clean and clouds are made of marshmallows.
...the FDA sets higher standards for a lower allowable toxin content in vaccines than the EPA sets for our water supply.
...I don't have to wait in line in a physician's waiting room behind Starbucks-toting suck-ups employed by pharmaceutical companies just to see a doctor.
...my SUV converts disposable diapers into 100% clean-burning fuel with no waste left behind.
...eating organically actually costs less than eating conventional foods.
...middle-class Americans paying for health insurance actually receive health benefits at least as good as those of government-funded (read "paid for by my tax dollars") programs for the poor.

and finally.....

...autism not only does not affect 1 in 100 (according to the CDC - however, studies conducted by various other sources show the numbers are even more prominent) children, but does not exist at all.

Okay, enough! I can dream. Anyway, here is the article....

Al Qaeda linked to rogue aviation network

Enjoy! And please accept my apologies in advance if it serves as a rude awakening out of your own marshmallow-y dreams.